We’re both only half awake, and it takes me a moment, but eventually it snaps into place. I’m both in him and in myself, and I can feel his emotions so deeply.
My breath stutters in my throat. It’s not anger. It’sheartbreak.
He pushes a memory toward me. Me, covered in a river of blood, the dagger in my chest. I see myself from his eyes, and it’s so fucking awful.
I’m dead. I’m well and truly dead. My skin has leeched all color. I’m not breathing.
Stark’s hands, red with my blood. He’s shaking. He failed me, he thinks—in the end, he couldn’t protect me after all. This has been his absolute worst fear: that I would choose to do something to myself that he couldn’t stop.
And it’s come to pass, even as he’s been protecting me from—
I see another memory through his eyes. Me, alive and cleaned up, sitting on the deck of the boat as I try to figure out where to go next. I’m so beautiful through Stark’s mind. My silver-white hair shimmers in the sunlight. His heart twists as his vision roves over my face.
It’s hard to believe I’m here, after what he saw just hours ago. Even now, he looks at me and all he sees is that dagger in my chest, that blood on his hands.
He’s not used to feeling scared. I scare him, the vastness of this thing between us.
I take a steadying breath and then lock eyes with him. It’s dizzying, our vision still doubling over each other. “You didn’t fail me.”
“Yes, I did,” he responds immediately. “I should’ve sensed what you were doing; I should’ve stopped you before—”
“No,” I cut him off. “Other people’s choices are neveryourfailures. It’s important that you know that. I made a decision that I deemed right. I would do it again to save the three of you. To give our country a future. That was my choice, and it was my privilege to make it.”
“And it’s my privilege to be your protector, princess,” he murmurs. “Why are you so eager to deny me that?”
I put my hands on his face, his stubble rough beneath my palms. Then I lean close until our lips are almost touching. “I would never deny you anything. You must see that.”
He surges up to kiss me, and I feel it all—sensing both our mouths together. Tasting his breath and breathing it. His hands on my hips and the softness of my skin from his perspective as he slides one palm up my nightdress.
Stark maneuvers quickly and flips us so I’m pinned underneath him. Then he shifts my nightdress up to my waist and yanks my panties down, tossing them onto the floor. He shifts his large frame off the bed, kneeling on the floor.
“Doesn’t it drive you a little crazy not to pick that up?” I tease him.
Stark’s eyes meet mine, his gaze heated and hungry.“I’ll show you what drives me crazy.”
He pulls my legs over his shoulders and leans in toward my center. I’m in him and in myself; I can feel both the weight of my thighs and him underneath me.
His hot breath is on my center, but I’m also the one breathing it out.
I put a hand on his forehead, stopping him. “Wait. This is too weird. Isn’t it?”
“I thought you said you would never deny me, princess. Don’t deny me the chance to show you how you look, how you taste. How you feel to me.”
Letting out a surprised laugh, I say, “You know what? Fuck it. Yeah, go for it.”
The words are barely out of my mouth, and Stark’s tongue is on me.
What the fuck.
50
MERYN
It’s an immediate explosion for both of us.
The pleasure is overwhelming on its own, but being in Stark’s mind when he delivers it—it’s so much, so much.
I can’t think. All I can do is feel.
