She looks up, her face blotchy and streaked with tears. “I’m sorry, Meryn—I’m sosorry. I saw him with that woman tonight, and maybe she agreed to be there, I don’t know, but something about it felt so nonconsensual. I snapped.”
I nod to encourage her to keep going, but I also know what she means.
The humans in this country don’t appear to have much of a choice. Thosein charge make the laws, and those laws are amenable to Siphons, with little regard to how a human might feel. If a Siphon can drink your blood as payment of debts owed or as a prize after winning an unfair fighting match… how free are these people, really?
Sure, it looks like the humans enjoy the sensation of… being fed upon, as much as the thought makes me sick. But I know all too well that pleasure and coercion can go hand in hand.
Bright blue eyes flash in my mind at the thought, and I shiver.
Noemi’s cheeks flush with a bit of color—which, of course, only makes her prettier—and she clasps her hands tightly in her lap. “You need to know something. During my time in the Bonding Trials, I was King Cyril’s chosencompanion.” The word comes out bitter, filled with disgust.
No.My stomach drops to my feet.
“As I’m sure you’re aware, being his companion could be sort of a competition between some of the women. There was a level of status involved in being chosen. However, I was not given a choice.”
She looks away from me now, her eyes getting glassy again. Noemi worries her bottom lip between her teeth for a long moment before continuing.
“My father, Lord Eisenfall, arranged my selection with the king—years before my Trials, in fact. Cyril saw me once in person when I was twelve and told my father it would be beneficial to his fiefdom if I was… encouraged… to vie for his attention during the Trials when I was of age.” She glances back at me, and the steel has returned. “There were zero conversations about feelings or consent. I entered the Trials, newly eighteen and accepting of my fate. If I did not perform to Cyril’s expectations, my father would be displeased.”
My stomach is a twisting, writhing mess, and I want to cry now, too—for the girl she was, who had to endure that.
For the woman she is now, who lives with it still.
“My father controls an entire fiefdom, Meryn. A large one. You know as well as I do that all the power we have from being Bonded means nothing when a noble lord snaps his fingers. And I—”
She cuts herself off, looks to her feet, and swallows. Then she looks back up,her face anguished. “He’s awful, I know, but he’s my father. Some fucked-up part of me just wants to make him happy.”
I reach out to her, grab her hand in mine. We just sit there in silence for a moment.
Noemi’s expression hardens as if she’s turning herself into a shield. She slowly disentangles her hand from mine and turns it into a fist. “I don’t want any other women to go through what I went through.”
“I know,” I tell her. “I feel the same way.”
My mind drifts once again to Killian, of what happened between us. It doesn’t compare with the grooming and rape Noemi experienced.
After all, I thought I was consenting at the time.
But it wascoercion. Our entire relationship—a relationship built on lies and manipulation—violated my autonomy. For the first time, I’m finally admitting that to myself. My eyes burn, and I swallow the heat down.
Our abuser is the same person now. Alistair was in Cyril, and now he’s in Killian.
“We’re going to get him, Noemi,” I tell her, my voice as sharp as a dagger. She nods, and I can tell she knows we’re not talking about Lucien. “We’re going to make him pay. We’re going to make theright personpay for what he’s done. But we’re not going to be able to do that without Lucien’s support.”
Her lips press into a thin line, and then she says, “I know. What do I do? I fucked up so badly.”
“You need to apologize. Sincerely,” I tell her, and she lets out a sound of distress. “I know, he’s fucking insufferable. He’s going to draw this out as much as possible. It’s the only way, though.”
She nods. “Okay. Thank you.”
I turn to leave, to take her back out to him, and she says, “Meryn?”
There’s a small smile on her lips when I turn back around. “You and Stark. I’m glad.”
I startle. “I—what? You are? How did you—”
“Please,” she sniffs. “I’ve known him since he was a boy. He can’t hide things from me.”
I pause, hesitant. I know Stark isn’t romantically interested in Noemi, but I’m still not sure where she stands. “And you… you’re sure it’s fine? I mean, you weren’t, you never, um…”
