“We should get some sleep,” Stark says quietly. “We have a long journey tomorrow.”
We ready the sleeping pallets in silence. Get into them next to each other in silence. Close our eyes, pretending to sleep in silence. At least, I’m pretending.
Because all night long I burn and I burn and I burn.
Morning takes forever to arrive.
The fire has turned to coals, and the sky is barely lightening when I hear approaching footsteps. Anassa’s ears swivel. She lifts her head to inhale. But I don’t need her nose to tell me the heavy footfalls are direwolves. I stand at the sound.
Taking a deep breath, I let the rift mask ease away, revealing the rest of the camp to a tired-looking Venna and an annoyingly beautiful Noemi. The woman looks like she didn’t miss a wink. I try not to watch as she and Stark embrace.
Venna moves toward me, saying nothing. When her arms go around me, painful emotions riot in my chest. It’s guilt for not telling her the truth. But it’s also sweet relief tinted with grief.
We don’t have Iz any longer, but we have each other. Thank the goddess, we have each other.
When we pull apart, her hands linger on my arms. “Are we okay?” I ask, letting hope and fear show on my face.
Her expression is solemn.
“I know that you’re the queen now, Meryn, and I’m not always going to be privy to your decision-making. But your choices here hurt me. Can you promise you’ll let me in on anything you can, especially if it might concern my safety?”
“I swear,” I say instantly. “I’ll do better.”
Venna nods once. “Then we’ll be okay,” she says with certainty I probably don’t deserve.
I think she understands that it was fear that drove me, but I still resent myself for it. I was once so furious at Anassa for withholding the truth. To turn around and do the same thing to a close friend? It makes me hate myself a little bit, even if I had a good reason.
When Venna steps away, Noemi takes her place. “We’re good?” she asks gently.
“Uh… yeah,” I say. “I mean… are we?”
There’s still so much I don’t understand about Noemi—particularly Stark’s relationship with her. What are they to each other? Does she love him, too?
And can I stop fucking obsessing about it every time my mind has a quiet moment?
Noemi shrugs an elegant shoulder and brushes her long red hair over it. “Don’t let her bite me, and we’ll be fine.”
That seems about as positive a reaction as I can possibly hope for to a “hey, by the way, my sister’s a Siphon” reveal, so I shoot her a tight smile and start to break down camp.
Eventually, I wake Saela up from where she still sleeps against Anassa’s side. She looks down at her bloodstained clothes and then up at Venna and Noemi and starts to cry.
“It’s okay,” I tell her as I lead her into the woods to change.
It takes some coaxing to get her to come back out to the campsite. Saela is mortified and ashamed of what she is. But when we emerge from the trees, Venna holds an arm out and Saela goes to her. They cling to each other silently for a long moment.
Then it’s time to get back on the road. We ride hard, but Saela seems stronger. Or at least more alert and less withdrawn than she’s been since her transformation.
She still keeps close to Anassa’s side when we take breaks for her to stretch her legs, but a little flicker of secret hope catches in my chest.
Shadows lengthen across the cold ground as we ride toward Weisenstat. Dawn turns to noon turns to evening. The landscape begins to change. Forest gives way to open terrain, large segments of it divided into farms.
The first sign that we’re nearing the front is the smoke. We see it from leagues away. I don’t remember the choking haze the last time I came to the active war zone with Stark.
It’s not a good sign.
I tap into the sea of communication in my mind, as lightly as possible. The force of anxiety running through everyone stationed here almost knocks me off Anassa. It strengthens as we draw closer and closer.
We crest a hill, and take in the full extent of the disarray.
