“Anassa chose you,” Izabel says, her dark eyes sympathetic, even as she looks at me like I’m a doomed cause. Well, fuck that. “That has to count for something, Meryn.”
Her direwolf starts to shift its weight, rumbling out an impatient growl.
Izabel breathes deeply and nods, jaw set. “I wish you all the best. I truly do. And I hope to see you down there.”
With that, her mount turns and races away, and she’s gone with the rest.
There are almost none of us left atop the mountain now. Those still remaining are struggling to mount. That, or they’re mounted and their direwolves aren’t moving or are trying to buck and roll them off.
There’s a massive tawny direwolf sitting in the snow across the bloody snowfield, gnawing on a severed arm, staring at me.
My stomach turns as I march back to Anassa, hands in fists. Even though my wound has healed, my muscles still ache, hot and insistent. They’re locking up and screaming at me for overworking them. My hands are basically blocks of ice. My head still pounds from the bonding.
But that’s life. It’s alwaysbeenmy life. Pain and persistence.
There’s only one way forward, and I’m not dying on a lonely, icy mountain. I refuse to die until I know Saela is safe in her bed again. I lean into the pain, into the indignant fury at the injustice of what’s happening. It fuels me.
Anassa watches my approach, expression unchanging, body utterly still. I stare back at her and take a deep breath, trying to ensure my voice is soothing despite the churning chaos in my mind.
Slowly, I hold out my hand to her and speak, “Okay girl, it’s just us, then.”
Her huge paws dig into the snow and her bushy tail lifts slightly, and I have the distinct sense that those two things in combination are a warning. Her eyes slice into me, and ice creeps through my veins.
“I’mtryinghere,” I growl, then clear my voice to calm myself, “but maybe I’m not good at this because it’s not in my blood. All I know is that we need to get down there. And quickly, for both our sakes.”
She still doesn’t move, but her muscles are taut and her flanks are twitching restlessly.
Stepping closer, I smooth my voice out, speaking in gentle tones. “Can I get on your back? Can I ride you, girl?”
Her teeth snap. A loud, menacingclickstrikes at my heart like a hammer. I recoil as her fangs flash, massive canines dripping with saliva. A barking growling rips from her throat, and a paw drags a huge canyon through the snow.
My heart slams in my chest. I nearly just lost a hand. Or an entire arm.
“What the fuck?” I shout up at her, furious.
She snarls at me, tail flicking restlessly. The scream gathers behind my ribs, unbearable pressure pushing outward. I swallow around the angry, terrified lump in my throat.
“Why?” I shout at her. Why did she do this? If she hates me so much,whydid she force a bond on me? Why did she doom us both?
Anassa huffs at me, a gust of hot air impacting my face. She stomps one foot, then turns and runs.
I stand there staring after her, my entire body going slowly numb again. I watch as her silvery white coat disappears into the snow, blending in seamlessly until she’s utterly gone. I still have that uncomfortable pulsing ache in my head, but it hardly matters now. She abandoned me here.
And you know what?
Fuck her.
She doesn’t realize just what a stubborn bitch I am.
I’ll get down the mountain with or without her useless furry ass.
“Fine!” I shout. Then I can’t hold it in any longer. I double over and scream, fingers twisting in my silver-white hair. Awful, piercing sound scrapes from my throat, and I keep going until I run out of air.
When it’s done, I straighten and get to work.
I’ve been on my own before, and I haven’t let it kill me yet. I’m not going to start today.
Striding to the edge of the compacted snow, I find a clean patch and gather it up in my hands, bringing it to my mouth and letting it melt against my tongue. I swallow the water down, letting it soothe my raw throat and wake my mind up.
