He releases me, jerking his face to the side like I’ve slapped him across the face. For a split second, I catch a glimpse of the vulnerable scar beneath his jaw.
I step back, his warmth lingering on my palm. “Anassa,” I beg. I don’t know why. I’m just confused. Overwhelmed.
She turns her head and nudges my arm. The scratchiness of her fur calms me. I can sense a swirl of understanding from her. It’s a gentler emotion than I think I’ve ever felt over the bond.
Maybe she eases up on the wide open connection between us because a breath later, my head is slightly clearer. The physical effects on my body linger, but the painful need is gone. Even still, I look at Stark and feel…
I just understand, I think. It’s hard, though.
Everything I thought I knew about him has been turned on its head.
I take a deep breath and stroke Anassa’s ear, trying to calm my racing heart. I’m still confused, but…
“Stark,” I say.
He lifts his head, clearly still affected.
“Alphas don’t have the luxury of weakness,” I recite.
Recognition flashes in his eyes. He slowly lifts his head further, and I see a hint of the relentlessly unyielding man I know and ha—well, I don’thatehim.
Right now, I need to think like the Alpha I am. No, scratch that.
Like thequeenI am, as unbelievable as that sounds.
“What about Killian?” I ask. I can see Stark shoving it all down, slipping back behind his walls. I think he wants it. I think it’s easier for him, and he’s right. I can’t blame him. “His ancestor—the one who stole the throne from my family—was a Siphon. Is Killian a Siphon, too?”
Stark is silent for a long moment before he says, “I’m not certain.”
I curse inwardly. It wouldn’t surprise me, at this point, if Killianwerea Siphon. If I’ve been traipsing around, secretly a queen—fuck, Stark’s nickname for me sits differently now—why not a secret Siphon in our midst, too?
“The original king who stole the throne died, as did all of his progeny throughout the years,” Stark says.
“But Siphons can live forever,” I say. “So how did he die? Why?”
Stark sighs and leans against the bars, crossing his arms. “Regrettably, there are things I don’t know. Everything I do know has been passed down in the book you’ve already seen.”
I tap my fingers on my thigh. “Fuck.”
He huffs. It sounds borderline amused. “The one thing I know for certain is that Killian does not have your best interests at heart.”
I laugh bitterly, gesturing to the bars between us. My stupid fuckingengagement braceletglints on my arm as I do. “Believeme. I’m well aware of that now. Why didn’t you say anything?” I shoot a look at Anassa. “Eitherof you. I know you had limitations from the curse but surely at some point you could have said,Hey, by the by, your betrothed is a gaslighting piece of shit?”
I try to ignore the painful squeeze of my heart as I utter those words.
“And you would have believed us?” Anassa growls and my face heats in shame.
Of course I wouldn’t have. Not even when I was furious at Killian for hiding his identity from me. I’ve been fighting them both since the moment I started the Trials. If Stark had tried to say something, I probably would’ve stabbed him. And Anassa? That wall would have come crashing down once again.
The awful truth of it all washes over me and for a moment I can’t breathe.
My betrothed, my beloved. A man I let into my heart and into my bed. Whatever his intention was with me, there was certainly nothing noble at play. He broke my heart and then, idiot I am, Iforgave himand he did it again, ten thousand times worse.
I did all of this to myself. If I’d never gotten involved with him to begin with, would Saela have been safe? Would my mother still be alive?
My stomach roils and I stagger forward, worried that I’m going to be sick all over the dirty cell floor. Anassa sends a wave of calming energy toward me, which helps the nausea pass.
And once it’s gone, clarity comes.
