Nothing could stop me in that moment. I rush forward, pushing the door open and stepping through.
It’s just as bright and warm as the tunnel we just walked through, carved of the same blinding marble. Oil lamps hang from the ceiling, casting warm and steady light. I blink in confusion. For all its elegance, I know what this is.
A prison.
Along both sides of the long room stretch mirrored rows of cells. They’re small alcoves in the marble, each containing proper furnishings: real beds with clean linens, shelves filled with books, even small desks. The luxuries might trick the eye into seeing an innocuous, restful space.
If you can overlook the gilded bars holding in children.
Dozens of kids linger behind the bars, all wearing identical gray clothing. They lookhaunted, hollowed out and gaunt, like they’ve been wasting away down here. I can tell that they’ve been fed, but they’re definitely not healthy. There’s a pallor to their sun-starved skin.
Each cell seems carefully controlled, with four to five children each. The kids grouped together look roughly the sameage, too, with the youngest no older than five and the oldest maybe ten to twelve.
My eyes immediately snap to the cells towards the end, where the older kids are. I’m not mindful of my thudding footsteps as I rush forward, desperate, shaking.
And then I see her. Part of me can’t believe it’s real.
Saela.
For a single moment, my lingering fear tells me that this might be another hallucination. It’s almost preferable to the thought that Saela might have been trapped down here, right below my feet, theentiretime I was fighting to reach her.
Then I realize what she’s doing. Saela’s curled up around a book.
Her dark hair is longer than I remember, falling past her shoulders, and her body is slightly thinner, but she’s still Saela. Always with her nose between the pages. The sight of it would have even been comforting, if it weren’there, in this awful place.
The familiarity of it all snaps me out of my fears right as Saela seems to sense that she’s being watched. She looks up from her book, eyes finding me.
For several long seconds, all we can do is stare. Time stretches thin, the weeks and weeks of fear and pain and hope strangling the breath from my lungs. I cover my mouth with one hand, distantly aware that burning tears are falling.
Then the book drops from her hands with a loud smack. Her eyes flood with tears.
“Meryn?” she squeaks, voice cracking like heartbreak.
It snaps me into motion. I gasp raggedly for air and sprint toward her. The children around me gasp and rush to the bars to watch. Saela scrambles to her feet, sobbing, reaching shakily for the bars.
I slam into them, shoving my arms through because I need tofeelher. She lets out a small, keening cry as I pull her as close as I can.
“Sae,” I choke out, cradling her head. She’s warm beneath my hands, unlike in my nightmares.
“M-Meryn,” she whimpers. Her hands cling to my jacket like she’s afraid I’m going to disappear, her knuckles whiting. “Y-Your hair!”
I choke out a wet laugh and nod. “Yourhair.”
She sobs and clings to me. The desperate, searching nature of her touch wounds me. I can’t let her go. I won’t.
“I’ve got you,” I breathe, stroking her hair. She leans close, crowding the bars to reach me. “I’ve got you, Saela. You’re okay.”
Her breaths slow somewhat, but she won’t let go of me. I wish I could tear these fucking bars down. Rip them right out of the floor and hold her properly, pull her all the way into my arms and make her feel safe again.
Dry her tears. Read to her. Tuck her in to sleep.
I shake my head and bend to kiss her hair, tearing my eyes from her briefly. The other children in her cell and those gathered at the other cell doors are watching with something hungry in their eyes.
Aching jealousy, I realize. Loneliness.
I don’t know how long they’ve been down here, but no one’s been caring for them the way a child needs care. No one’s been here to love them. They must have gone to sleep each night longing for their homes, their families, for the sun.
A deep sadness settles over my heart like glinting frost blanketing the earth.
