Between the drawings are scattered notes—references to someone named “Lumina,” mentions of “Nocturn,” and the word “Astreon” appear as frequently as the crown drawings. Like the names of our two countries, but wrong.
I recognize the names immediately. Mother used to mutter them often during her episodes.
“Lumina,” I say aloud, wondering where on earth my mother heard the name. Are these people just figments of her imagination, or did she know them long ago?
“Hide the journals,”Anassa growls suddenly over the bond, her tone urgent and filled with warning. At the same time, I hear the thump of Killian’s boots in the hallway outside.
Confused, but galvanized by Anassa’s intensity, I shove the journals into my bag with the rest of Mother’s things just as Killian enters the room.
“Hey,” he says with a gentle smile. “Find anything special you want to keep?”
Something in his tone gives me pause. I’m not sure what it is, but it doesn’t quite align with the look on his face. There’s a hint of tension around his eyes.
“Just a few things,” I say, keeping my voice level while my heart beats inexplicably fast. I reach into the bag, surreptitiously shoving the journals deeper as I show him mother’s scarf and shoes. There’s a bottle of perfume, too, with a single drop of amber liquid still inside.
“She used to wear it when I was little,” I say, drawing his gaze from the open bag. “Back when Father was alive, he’d buy her things like this now and then. Little extravagancies to make her feel special.” My throat tightens. “It still smells like her. Like the woman she was before he died, I mean.”
Killian’s face softens with compassion. “He really loved her.”
I nod, clutching the bottle hard in one hand.
“Let me see.” He takes the bottle gently from my fingers and lifts it to his nose. “Mm. Smells nice. Good quality. I bet the castle perfumer could replicate this scent.”
“Really?” I blurt. “You have a designatedperfumerat the castle?”
He chuckles. “But of course. The king can hardly be expected to venture out into the city every time he wants to try a new scent, now can he?”
We share a laugh, then Killian’s expression turns solemn. “Would you like another bottle of your mother’s perfume, Meryn?”
My eyes prickles with tears, the journals and Anassa’s warning momentarily forgotten.
“I would,” I whisper, rising on my toes to kiss him. “I really would.”
That afternoon,I part ways with Killian and head straight for Anassa’s favorite terrace with the journals in hand. She lifts her head when I crest the terrace steps and slap the journals down on the floor in front of her.
“Alright, talk,” I say. “What do you know about my mother’s journals and why in the goddess’s name did you make me hide them from Killian?”
Anassa lounges regally on her haunches, her massive form silhouetted against the mountain and the darkening sky beyond it.
Through our bond comes her maddeningly cryptic response:“I’ve told you all I can.”
“You haven’t told meanything!” I exclaim.
Anassa just blinks at me in impassive silence.
“Dammit! This is important, Anassa. My mother justdied. And these are her thoughts—a record of her madness, her delusions—on paper. If you know something about it,I need you to tell me!”
“What can I possibly tell you that isn’t already written there in your mother’s hand?” the wolf replies, unmoved by my distress.
“I don’t know!” I cry. “That’s why I’m asking!”
When Anassa doesn’t respond, I flip one of the journals open and gesture to an image of the wolf crown. “Why did she draw this over and over? Do you know what it is? And the names—Lumina, Nocturn, Astreon—what do you know about them?”
Anassa doesn’t even look at the page.“Perhaps it’s time for you to do some searching of your own.”
Grief and frustration send me pacing away from her, thrusting my hands through my hair as I go over the facts in my mind.
“My mother’s episodes always centered around these names. She would talk about them—to them, even. Nocturn and Astreon almost make sense. Like the personifications of our Kingdoms, Nocturna and Astreona. It’s a basic delusion. But Lumina—I’ve never heard that name, except from my mother.”
