I roll my eyes.
“Speaking of beautiful,” my mother says, turning to me. She lifts one hand to touch my shorn silver-white hair. “This suits you.”
“Oh. Thanks,” I mumble, touched by the pride in her eyes.
“Come, let’s go inside,” Mother says, then glances back at my wolf. “Anassa, I’m sorry you can’t fit in our little house. I’ll bring you a snack later.” She glances at me. “Is that alright? Will she eat human food?”
I look over my shoulder at Anassa, who says nothing—though she seems pleased by my mother’s fussing.
“Probably not,” I say. “She hunts her own food in the mountains outside the castle.”
My mother nods. “Ah. Probably doesn’t want a slice of sourdough, then.”
As we step into the fire-lit warmth of the cottage, I’m struck by a wave of nostalgia. I haven’t seen the house this tidy and bright since before Saela was born.
The floor has been swept, the windows cleaned, every surface dusted. The little fireplace is blazing and the lamps are all lit. The whole place smells like baking bread and Mother’s spiced beef stew—the one she used to make on holidays when Dad was still alive.
“I guess Ki—Lee also told you I’d bonded with Anassa,” I say, following Mother to the living room. “I wasn’t sure you knew I’d become Bonded.”
“Oh, yes!” she says, gesturing for me to sit beside her on the couch. “Lee visits me every week. He’s been such a dear, bringing me food and firewood and anything else I might need. He also brought some tradesmen to fix up the house, did you see?”
“I did,” I say, my throat tightening. “It looks really nice.”
“I don’t ask for anything, mind you!” she hurries to reassure me. “The last thing I want is to put him out. He really is a good one, that Lee.” She leans over to pat my leg, smiling conspiratorially. “Definitely a keeper.”
My cheeks heat as I think yet again about his desire to claim me publicly.
Clearly, my mother doesn’t know yet that “Lee” is the crown prince. What would she think if she knew the truth? Would she be even more excited? Would she warn me off the relationship, worried to see her daughter involved with a royal?
The urge to confess everything rises inside me with startling strength. Mother hasn’t been this lucid for years. I almost forgothow I used to confide in her—how we’d sit by the fire just like this and I’d tell her about my day or whatever else was on my mind.
Suddenly I miss that so much I could cry. I want to lay down with my head in her lap like I did as a child and tell her everything—about the castle, the training, Anassa, Killian. I want her to pet my hair and tell me everything will be alright, like she used to.
But I shove it all back down again. I’m not that little girl anymore. Life forced me to grow up and there’s no turning back the clock.
I grab her hand. “Mother, I’m really glad Lee is taking care of you. I’m sorry I can’t be here.”
When she starts to protest, I cut her off.
“No, please listen,” I say fiercely. “This isn’t for nothing, me being gone. I’m going to fight my way through to the end of the training. Then I’m going to find Saela and bring her home—even if I have to kill every Siphon in Astreona to do it. I swear, I’mgoingto bring her home.”
Mother’s eyes fill with tears even as her lips curve in a proud, pained smile. She clasps my hand between her own.
“I know you will,” she whispers. “I have so much faith in you, Mer. You’ve been our protector all these years since your father passed. I know you won’t let us down now.” Her face crumples with grief and regret. “I’m so sorry that I haven’t been well—that I couldn’t be the mother you deserved.”
My breath catches in my chest.
Haven’t I wished for that, too? Wasn’t I just thinking I missed that mother, the kind of parent every child should have? One who’s dialed in enough to meet their kid’s basic needs? One who comforts and consoles and cares for their family?
And, yet…
“Don’t say that,” I whisper, eyes prickling with tears as I battle my internal war. I’m pissed about the card Saela and I were dealt, but I can’t be mad atherabout it. “It isn’t your fault you’ve been ill. I’m just glad you’re feeling better.” I sniffle and wipe my eyes quickly. “Speaking of that—what’s going on? Did you get new medicine, or…?”
“No, not at all.” She shakes her head, shrugging helplessly. “It’s the strangest thing. I’ve been better for weeks now. I would have gone back to working at the laundry again, but Lee and Igor insist I stay at home.”
“Good,” I say. “Home is where you belong. As long as they’re taking care of you.”
“They are,” she says. “I feel a bit guilty, relying on everyone. But they’ve been so kind. The other neighbors come by to check on me, too.”
