“You know, I’ve always been told that Carolina blue really makes my eyes pop.”
Andy’s and Drew’s eyes were glued to me as Coach Owens laughed. “Can I take that as a yes?”
I reached into the little cubby underneath the ledge of the table and pulled out a pen that I knew would be there. “Coach Owens,” I said, “I need you to know something about me.” He looked at me questioningly. “Baseball is the great love of my life. And I have to work with people who feel the same way.”
We locked eyes. “Son, I plan to take my last breath and keel over on some diamond, somewhere.”
He got it; he understood. And so, with great flourish, I signed my name on the dotted line, closed the folder, and slid it back to CoachOwens. Yeah, I should have had a lawyer look at it. And, sure, I could have negotiated for more. But I wasn’t a businessman. I was a baseball player. Thread lines were indented into my palms; I ran that diamond in my dreams. As Drew hollered and stood to throw his arms around my neck, I was so happy I thought my heart might explode in my chest. I might have taken a roundabout way to get here. But I had worked hard; I had proven myself. I had shown that second chances really can work out. And, now, I couldn’t wait to tell my brother.
DAISYThe Hardest
Most of the day, I felt like I was too tired to go to Mason’s baseball game. I hadn’t slept all night, had dealt with the difficulty of leaving Maisy at day care for the first time, and had worked a twelve-hour shift, after all. He wouldn’t blame me. But, as soon as I got Maisy strapped into her car seat, I turned around in the day care parking lot and noticed the warmth of the spring night, the feel of the fresh air entering my lungs. And I decided that being outside in it, eating a hot dog and some peanuts and squiring around my baby girl, might be just what the doctor ordered. Not to mention the fact that I had thought about Mason all day, and, between our texts, had fantasized about his lips on mine. This would be the only way I would see him, so it seemed like I should get over there.
It was a six thirty game, so, by the time I left work at seven, picked Maisy up from day care, got to the school, navigated getting Maisy into her stroller, got my hot dog, and sat down on the bottom of the bleachers in the corner where I could keep a hand on the stroller, it was almost eight o’clock. And I had to be back at work at seven.
I realized that navigating parenthood—even if it was only ever foster parenthood—work, and a relationship was going to betricky. Julie, my mother, was only a few rows behind me in the bleachers. She smiled and waved like we were old friends. I smiled and waved back, trying to seem casual. Part of me felt like I owed her nothing; the other part knew that totally falling apart in front of her, and feeling soothed by her motherly hug, meant I wanted more from her.
I think what hurt most was seeing what a devoted, committed mother she was to Kevin. I mean, I was happy for him. I didn’t want any kid to have anything less. But why him? And why not me? I used to imagine that she couldn’t love me because I was adopted, because she hadn’t given birth to me. But the ease and speed with which Maisy felt like my very own killed that theory—and made it even harder to forgive her.
I promised myself I would talk to her. Next week, maybe. I needed to move forward.
Carmen, Principal Tim’s wife, slid beside me as I took my first, delicious bite of hot dog. As I chewed, Mason spotted me and waved. And, just like that, I quit caring about how tired I was going to be tomorrow. I would take a twenty-minute nap during my lunch hour. I could tell even from across the stadium just how happy he was to have me there. And that was everything.
“So, it’s true,” Carmen said. “He’s in love with you.” She sighed and shook her head.
“He waved at me from across the stadium, Carmen. He would have waved at his brother the same way.”
As if I had conjured said brother, Parker and Amelia trailed behind an exuberant George and Greer as they ran up to me. “Aunt Daisy!” Greer enthused, throwing herself into my arms, almost making me drop my hot dog. I kissed the top of her head and said, “Greer! You’re here!”
Carmen looked disgusted. “Aunt Daisy? Sure, sure. That was a brotherly wave.”
Amelia crooned over Maisy and picked her up out of the stroller without even asking, which, for some reason, made me feel so safe and warm. It was like we were family, and why would she ask if she could hold my baby?
Parker wedged himself between Carmen and me, to which she protested. “Hey! We were having a conversation!”
“Nope,” Parker said, helping himself to one of my peanuts. “Mason really likes this one. I won’t have you ruining it for him.”
Carmen raised both penciled-in eyebrows. “If I can’t have him, no one else should either. I think that’s reasonable.”
We all laughed, including Amelia, who scooted Parker and Carmen down to sit by me, as she sniffed the top of Maisy’s head. “That new baby smell. Oh my gosh, Daisy. Your whole life is that new baby smell.”
Sure, sure. No poop or panic or taking vitals or dealing with emergencies. Just new baby smell.
I looked up to see Drew throw a truly searing pitch, and the crowd went wild, which I took to mean he had struck the other team’s batter out. The Marlins ran to the dugout as George got his face as near to mine as he could without touching and said, “Can you take me over to see Uncle Mason, Aunt Daisy?”
“Oh my gosh. It’s like they’re married already. My heart. Y’all are killing me!” Carmen said dramatically.
I laughed. I was about to answer when Parker said, “George, you can’t see Uncle Mason until after the game. You know that.”
He walked to the end of the bleachers to pout.
“Aunt Daisy, huh?” Amelia asked, still holding Maisy close.
I shook my head and laughed. “I’m sorry. I tried to explain to them how and why I wasn’t their aunt, but Greer was insistent that she call me Aunt Daisy, and, well, I don’t know if you know, but she’s very hard to argue with.”
Parker sighed. “That’s putting it mildly.”
Amelia nodded and looked over at her twins. Greer was wearing a red crinoline tutu skirt with an orange sequined top, spinning around in the grass. “She refused to wear anything else today,” Amelia said. “You just wait.”
