My sister knew ice cream almost always cheered me up.
“Sure,” I said, but still started to cry.
Four
My dad found me in my room that night; he’d gotten home later than expected. His flight back from Charlotte had not only been delayed, but then the plane sat on the Philly tarmac for a while. Maisie and Bryce, ready for bed in coordinating pajamas (more swag sent to Erica), were waiting up for him. Bryce couldn’t wait to show off his new neon green cast, courtesy of his fractured wrist. “Daddy!” I’d heard them shout around nine, and I smiled to myself. No matter how exhausted my dad was, he would give the twins all his energy before Erica hustled them upstairs for bed.
“Hey there,” he said later, rapping his knuckles on the already open bedroom door. I turned to see him showered and wearing sweats with aTOPGUNT-shirt. The United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor program, not the movie. Christopher Lupo had been a fighter pilot for years before transitioning to commercial aircraft. He owned the aviators to prove it.
“Welcome home!” I wanted to hop up and give him a hug, but for some reason stayed put on the floor. “How many cold brews are powering you?”
“Upward of three.” He smiled and leaned against the doorframe, salt-and-pepper hair shining in the light. My dad wasn’t old, but I knew he was considered an “older dad” among the elementary school parents. He’d turned fifty last month.
But there had been no one more willing or happy to get down on the ground with the twins when they were younger. He was always rolling around with them on the family room floor. I couldn’t really remember him doing that with me; my mom had been the one who tickled me until I was nearly breathless, with a widespread smile and shining eyes. In hindsight, I knew it was because the fighter pilot lifestyle consumed him. Things being different with Maisie and Bryce made me happy, but I still sometimes felt a small sting.
“What are you appraising today?” he asked, noting that I was looking through Annie’s jewelry. I didn’t want to call her collectionmineyet, because if it were mine, that meant…
I held up Annie’s favorite ring: a gold band with two beautiful sapphires flanking a diamond. She’d worn it almost every day, as often as her engagement ring. My dad had brought back the sapphires from a postgrad trip to Thailand, but I actually didn’t know where Annie had gotten the diamond. Maybe it’d been her mother’s.
“We should talk,” my dad said before I could ask. He gave me a long look. “I heard about today.”
“Mmm,” I mumbled, suspecting I was about to be admonished for basically ripping off Erica’s head at lunch.
“It sounds like you were pretty tough on Erica, Liv,” he continued. “You know she cares deeply about you; she’s just trying to wrap her head around your perspective.” He sighed. “Jumping down her throat, right in front of her friends, definitely wasn’t the smoothest move.”
I nodded. I didn’t have anything to add.
My dad waited for me to respond.
“I’ll apologize,” I assured him, then took a deep breath. “But do I really have to come to Martha’s Vineyard in July? I barely know these people, and Erica obviously doesn’t want me there.” I straightened my shoulders. “I don’t mind staying home. You wouldn’t have to stop the mail or pay someone to water the plants—”
“Well, that’s very generous,” he cut me off. “ButImind, and Erica would too.” He half-smiled. “This is a family reunion, and our family isn’t complete withoutyou.”
Then why haven’t I ever made the cut for Erica’s family shots on Instagram?I thought, but kept my snark to myself. My dad didn’t deserve it.
All I did was nod.
He nodded back before shifting subjects. “Elkins also called me,” he said. “They left a message about this afternoon.”
Something thickened in my throat. “I’m sorry,” I told him. “I know I shouldn’t have left her, but I didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know me, then suddenly sheknewme, and sounded sodesperate…” My voice quieted. “I feel so guilty for abandoning her, but I had to get Maisie.”
“No.” My dad shook his head as I rose from the floor. “No, you did the right thing—pleasedon’t beat yourself up over leaving.” He opened his arms, and I walked into them for a hug. “Everyone there knows how devoted you are to her and are amazed by your composure and stamina. They’ve told me you visit more often and for much longer than the average family member.” He hugged me tighter. “You are such a wonderful granddaughter, and I am so proud of and impressed by you.”
“I’m doing my best,” I replied, my eyes welling up a bit.
“I know.” He pulled back to kiss my forehead. “But I can see the emotional toll it is taking on you, and I wonder if you should ease up on yourself. Elkins isn’t right around the corner, and I’m now worried about you driving down and back home when you’re exhausted.”
My stomach lurched. “What?”
My dad’s face was somber. “You are a real trooper, Liv,” he said. “You’ve gone through and done some things no kid should ever have to do.” He hesitated, and I knew we were both thinking about taking Annie’s jewelry from her when she began misplacing things, confiscating her car when it was no longer safe for her to drive, and the other ways I’d deceived her. It had been necessary—for her own good—but that didn’t mean I didn’t feel like shit for it. “I am so impressed,” he repeated. “But we can tellyou’re burned out and restless… Maisie told me how upset you were earlier, and snapping at Erica like that isn’t you. Plus, every time I come home these days you’re up here in your room. Things need to change.” He cleared his throat. “I plan to lighten my schedule for the summer so I can spend more time with Mom.” He paused. “I know three weeks with Erica’s family might not be your dream vacation—to be honest, I don’t think it’sErica’s dream vacation—but I think it’ll be good for all of us, good foryou.” He gave me a long look. “You need to take some time off from the bookstore and get out of Haddonfield for a while.”
Blood coursed through my ears. He actually wanted me to leave?LeaveAnnie? That was already the plan, of course, but when he phrased it as something Ineededto do rather than something Ihadto do…
Even if I was a little tired, how would leaving Annie be good for me?
“I’m going to raid the fridge for leftovers,” my dad said after a few seconds of silence, no doubt to lighten the mood. He gestured downstairs. “You want anything?”
“No, thanks,” I whispered, but when he was three steps from my bedroom door, a thought popped into my head. “When did you and Annie go to Martha’s Vineyard?”
