I grimaced as Kai left the room to get her a new drink, folding up her menu and slipping it in my pocket. A shaky circle had indeed been drawn around chocolate milk.
She calmed down a little once her tray had been cleared, butshe kept asking when we could leave. “I do not like this hotel, dearest,” she said as I felt pang after pang in my chest. “I’ve stayed in worse, butreally. They mess up my dinner and forget yours entirely. The décor is tired, furniture uncomfortable, and thesmell.” She turned up her nose. “Doesn’t it smell like…like…oh, shoot…” She squeezed her eyes shut, grappling for the right word. “It smells just like…”
“Here, Annie!” I said, hoping to redirect her. Forcing a smile, I gave her the coffee table book. “I went into New York to see Gwen and Quincy the other day and thought you would like this.”
I saw my grandmother’s eyes glaze over the words and she flipped approximately five pages before closing the book. “I’m very tired,” Annie said softly, and when she shifted in her chair, the book fell from her lap. I tried not to wince when it bonked on the floor. “Can we leave now?”
No, I thought.No, Annie, we can’t.
I felt like a failure, but unless Elkins Village wanted me to melt into a puddle of tears, I had no choice but to do what I did next. My voice was thick, my chest tight. “Of course,” I said as I scooped up her discarded book and set it on her window seat. “Let me talk to Tara quickly. I need to…” I searched for an excuse, in reality wanting the nurse to supervise our goodbye. “Check outwith her.”
Annie nodded slowly, her eyes already closed.
She looked so peaceful, but also so tired…and so old. Even older than my visit seventy-two hours ago. How was that possible?
Battling back tears, I swiftly and silently gathered my stuff and slung my tote bag over my shoulder. “Good night, Annie,” I murmured before giving her the lightest kiss on the forehead. Something in the pit of my stomach told me not to wake her. “I love you, and I’ll see you soon.”
A thick haze engulfed me once I left Annie’s room. I vaguely heard people say my name and say goodbye as I crossed the atrium, and when I signed out at the nurses’ station, I could barely wrap my fingers around the pen. I didn’t return my visitor’s badge, and the nurse on duty didn’t ask for it. And I couldn’t remember pressing the security doors’ button, but someone buzzed me through anyway.
I was the only soul in the elevator, its hum almost lulling me into a deeper trance. The sunlight was bright through the windows when I stepped out onto the main floor. It was only a quarter after seven; the sun had yet to set. “Take care, Olivia!” I heard the front desk attendant call, and I managed a half wave before exiting the building.
The parking lot was crowded tonight; I wasn’t surprised. The weather was beautiful, most visitors probably taking an evening walk along Elkins’ trails with their friends or family members. Annie wasn’t allowed to do that anymore, not even with me or my dad. After she had tried to escape Elkins last spring, it was too risky.
Muscle memory took my feet where I needed to go while I wiped my watery eyes. I usually parked near the big magnoliatree, but I second-guessed myself when I spotted a familiar blue-gray Jeep under the dusk-to-dawn light.
Like mine, it had no top, but I squinted to see anHHbumper sticker and license plate for the Keystone State.
It hit me like a truck that today was Wednesday.
Connor brought his grandfather sushi every Wednesday.
Connor is here, I thought, my heart unsure whether to swoop or soar.Connor is here, Connor is here…
And just like that, I knew what to do.
I knew how to wrangle time.
Hands balling into fists, I speed-walked over to his car and whispered a wish before reaching for the driver door’s handle.
Please be unlocked.
With no roof, it would’ve been easy to climb in through the trunk, but if the door opened, it was a sign. “There’s no parking lot safer than Elkins Village,” Connor had once said.
My breath caught when the door unlatched, and in one inelegant motion, I swung myself up into the suspended Jeep and slammed the door shut behind me.
Then I waited.
I waited and waited for Connor.
A strain of pure anxiety and excitement raced through my veins, and I tried to rehearse what I was going to say while gripping the Jeep’s steering wheel. I willed it to ground me.
Eventually, the dusk-to-dawn light flickered on above me. The sun was now noticeably slipping in the sky, and I checkedmy phone to see that it was now 8:15. I’d been waiting an hour. Finlay House would’ve asked me to leave long ago, but since Connor’s grandfather still lived independently, the rules were different.
I texted Erica that I wouldn’t be home for a while.
Okay, just keep me posted, she wrote back.Anything interesting?
A grand gesture, I typed and saw her heart my message. Her extremely accurate Bitmoji—created by Bryce, polished by Maisie—also wished me good luck.
