She skimmed the book’s cover copy, then sighed and handed it back to me to scan. “Okay, I’ll give it a shot!”
Gwen and I resumed our conversation once the bell rang again, Hilary back out on the mean streets of Haddonfield. “Olivia, don’t take this the wrong way,” Gwen said, “but I think it’s really good you’re going away soon.”
I affectionately rolled my eyes but also felt the hair start to rise on the back of my neck. Why did Gwen sound like my dad?
“I meant that it’ll behealthyfor you to leave for a while. What you’ve been doing this year is so selfless, and I can’t express how much I admire you for it, but…”
My stomach dropped, the rest of her sentence turning to white noise.
But I imagined it translated to something like:
Olivia, you need to get a life.
* * *
Later, I couldn’t help but storm straight into Annie’s room with tears pooling in my eyes. My grandmother was relaxing on her bed with what vaguely sounded like a sappy Hallmark movie on TV and I didn’t even hesitate before collapsing next to her. “Oh, my,” she said. “What—”
My sudden sobs cut her off. I didn’t know if she recognized me, and I selfishly didn’t care; I cried. Annie was thelastperson I should’ve been melting down in front of, but besides my dad, she was also the only person I’d ever let see me so low—the only person who made me feel better. When a group of girls had nicknamed me “Stilts” in middle school, I’d come home crying after it had caught on with the rest of the seventh grade. Annie grabbed her keys to her Mercedes and took me on a long drive to a small town up the Delaware River, where we wandered the streets and window-shopped and then couldn’t stop laughing over a five-course dinner at a dreamy historic inn. She’d turned it into the best day.
Now, I let it all spill out. How I didn’t regret taking a gap year, but also how restless, frustrated, and unhappy I was. I was jealous of my friends, who’d started new lives at college. I felt like Erica branded everything as “the Lupo Family” when the dynamic inour house was “the Lupo Family & Olivia.” Gwen was right; I needed toget a life. I wanted to leave Haddonfield, and hated myself for it. I hated myself for feeling this inexplicable pull to Martha’s Vineyard—now secretlywantingto go when Erica seeminglydidn’twant me to go. And I especially hated that I was leaving Annie for almost a month. “I love you,” I told her at the end. “I love you so much, Annie, but…”
“You need time away from me,” she said simply.
Not sadly, butsimply—matter-of-fact.
Heart wrenching and half-horrified, I didn’t know how to respond.
“Start packing, Olivia,” she whispered. “If not for yourself, dearest, then for me.” She took my hand and squeezed it. “Martha’s Vineyard is a magical place. Go fall under its spell.”
Six
As much as I loved my dad, I hated his taste in music. Here we were, three hours into our six-hour Sunday drive to Woods Hole, blasting Tool’s greatest hits. Rock-metal fusion wasn’t my carpool karaoke cup of tea, but he was in the zone and it was my fault for not charging my AirPods.
No one else had an issue with it. From the way back of our Ford Expedition, I leaned forward in my seat to see my siblings totally focused on their iPads. Maisie was watchingEncantowhile Bryce played some LEGO game. “Crap,” he’d mutter every now and again, but my dad had only reprimanded him once.Language, pal…
In the front, Erica had set up a mobile office. Over the past several days, she’d been working overtime to have enough stored content to cover her imminent three-week hiatus. “I hope you don’t plan on bringing your lights, camera, etcetera…” I’d overheard a call with her mom last week. Erica had her on speakerphone. “This month is all about beingpresent, Erica.”
My stepmother was the youngest of the three Carmichaelkids and most definitely a “surprise.” Her sister Beth waseighteenyears older than her and next came her brother Jay. His age was hazy. She also had several adult nieces and nephews who she didn’t see much, but as far as I knew, she never missed a birthday card.
At the thought of a big group, my stomach squirmed a little; Maisie, Bryce, and I were Annie’s only grandchildren, and I rarely saw my two cousins on my mom’s side of the family. They lived abroad in Hong Kong.
Would the Carmichaels want to get to know me? I’d only met them a handful of times and it’d been small-talk city.
To distract myself, I unzipped my backpack and pulled out a folder containing Annie’s Polaroids and paintings. I shuffled through the stack for the shot of her standing in front of the John Deere tractor. It was my favorite; she looked so happy, so carefree, sobeautiful.
Why did she go?I asked myself for the hundredth time.Who was with her?
It had crossed my mind to bring the pictures to Elkins and ask, but part of me worried Annie would spiral and accuse me of stealing her stuff. I didn’t want to risk returning her memories, only for her to later rip them up and throw them out, as if they were nothing more than a promotion for a new credit card.
Plus, her words kept swirling through my mind.Martha’s Vineyard is a magical place… Go fall under its spell… If not for yourself, dearest, then for me.
Now, in a startling twist of fate, Icould not waitto reach Martha’s Vineyard. I was excited, because I had a mission. I was going to let Annie’s Polaroids lead me around the island and take pictures of myself at all the sights she’d visited. Then I was going to make a memory book with our photos side by side. Even if she didn’t recognize her younger self, I knew she would love it.
But maybe she will recognize everything, I couldn’t help but hope as I admired an intricate watercolor of a white lighthouse. I wondered if Annie had painted it herself. Her father had been an amateur artist, but the most artistic I’d ever seen my grandmother was helping Maisie work through a paint-by-numbers kit or assisting Bryce with a Lupo family–themed cartoon strip for school. Her caricatures of ushadbeen pretty accurate…
After finishing my packing late last night, Google had helped me discover the inspirations for the rest of Annie’s hidden artwork. Then I’d made a list.
Aquinnah Cliffs (Aquinnah)
