A lump formed in my throat. “They took pre-prom pictures without me,” I said, it suddenly dawning on me. “I met them in Hun’s student parking lot, but we took approximatelyzeropictures together. I bet they did it earlier, at Natalie’s house or something. That way there would be no record of me.”
The Princetonians considered. “Well, your generationdoesdocument everything on social media,” Simon mused.
My eyebrows knitted together.Mygeneration? These guys were only two years older than me.
“Simon has readThis Side of Paradisetoo many times,” Marco whispered to me. “He acts like it’s 1914 and we’re in the same English class as F. Scott Fitzgerald.”
Simon continued. “And Natalie’s housedoesfit the narrative…”
Zach swallowed some crème brûlée. “Si, shut up.”
I sighed. “I guess I should get back out there.”
“Do youwantto get back out there?” Marco asked as I heavedmyself out of my chair. I’d let myself sulk until I left the kitchen. “I saw you ordered the swordfish, Mads, and while it’sspectacular, I’m not sure it’s really worth it.”
No, I thought a couple minutes later, when I awkwardly rejoined the table. Everyone went silent.If this is going to be the rest of my night, it’s not worth it.
Ben/Brett/Brent agreed, as he’d seemingly bailed while I’d been gone. His chair was empty. But I put on a face for the rest of dinner and pretended like everything was fine. Nobody spoke directly to me, but I listened along to the conversation and laughed at jokes cracked. “Can we talk?” Davis asked more than once, his leg bouncing under the table. The frantic movement heightened my heart rate.
“You bet,” I whispered. “Just not now.”
“When?” he whispered back.
“Later,” I swallowed, having an uncomfortable inkling that Natalie was doing her damnedest to eavesdrop on us. “Before the dance.”
***
You could see lights flashing from the senior dining hall’s floor-to-ceiling windows as soon as Davis pulled Natalie’s car back into the now-packed parking lot. There were no open spots to be had, so he created his own, pulling onto the grassy field near a few other creatively thinking drivers. “We’ll see you in there!” Evanand Rebecca called, fingers lacing together as they speed walked toward the dance. The other couple followed suit, and Natalie after them. Reluctantly, I could tell, but still. She was generous enough to leave Davis and me alone to chat.
“I’m so sorry, Mads,” he blurted. “I should’ve told you that Natalie would be part of the group tonight. Evan said I shouldn’t have kept you in the dark, but I didn’t listen. I thought everything would be chill; Ineverthought she would call you out like that.”
“Well, she did,” I said, folding my arms over my chest. A breeze had swept up, and I didn’t have a jacket. I felt stupid for thinking Davis might offer me his later. “I don’t know how long you were together or who broke up with who, but she still loves you, Davis.” I took a breath. “She’s stillinlove with you, and you brought another girl to an event she always imagined you’d be attending together. How could she not act like a witch?”
Davis tucked his hands into his pockets, then muttered, “I think she was a little worse than a witch.”
I tilted my head as if to say,Of course she was worse than a witch!
“But I think she’s right,” I forced myself to say, a sharp sting in my chest. Tonight had totally unraveled—I wished I could trick myself into thinking coffee with Davishadbeen a real date. I wanted to look back on my first date fondly, and tonight had been terrible. “I think you invited me to shake her,” I continued. “To either shake her off for good or to shake some sense into her.”
Davis was quiet, and when he did speak, I barely heard himover my thudding heart. “I do like you, Mads. I really like you.”
“I like you, too.” My voice wavered. “Way more than I thought I would, but you’re still in love with somebody else, and I’m not cool with being used as a strategy to get that somebody back. You should’ve been honest with me from the start.”
“Yes, I should’ve.” He exhaled deeply. “I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m such an asshole.”
I tried rubbing the goose bumps from my arms. It was really getting chilly. “It’s okay.”
Davis nodded, then gestured to the dining hall. “Do you want to head in?”
“You should, yeah,” I said before pointing in the opposite direction, toward my car. “I’m gonna take off.”
“Mads, don’t,” he protested once I started walking. He took three large steps to catch up with me. “I know I messed up, but we’ll still have a great time as friends. I’dreallylike to be friends.”
“I would, too,” I told him truthfully, because we did have so much in common and I liked talking to him. “Just not on this particular night.” I clapped him on the shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Get in there, have fun with your friends, and ask Natalie to dance if that’s what you want to do. But I’m going home.”
I smiled a goodbye.
***
