And whenthreearrived, I clicked on the link to my decision and watched it slowly load pixel by pixel.Dear Miss Morgan,finally appeared.We are delighted to offer you a place…
Time froze for a second, and I stared at the letter until Charlie elbowed me. “So?”
“I’m in.” I turned to look at him, heart pounding. “I got in! To Middlebury!”
“Middlebury?” he exclaimed. “Holy crap, Sage,yes! Fire up the confetti cannon!”
I grinned. Middlebury, up in gorgeous Vermont, with kick-ass academics and where I could ski and bike to my heart’s content. (“A reach,” my college counselor had called it, just like Yale and Bowdoin. “Who cares?” Nick had said when I told him that. “Areachdoesn’t meanimpossible.” He squeezed my hand. “Go for it, Morgan. Don’t just play it safe.”)
I need to text Nick, I almost said, but then remembered Charlie. “What about you? Thumbs-up?”
He nodded. “Johns Hopkins.”
“Oh, wow! Congratulations!”
“Thank you.” He smiled. “I got into UNC yesterday too.” His rubbed the back of his head. “I sort of want a bigger school…”
“So I’ve gathered.” I laughed and elbowed him. “But tell me where the big kahuna is. What’s your ED?”
He shook his head, a slight smile appearing. “I can’t, Sage. I want to, but…” He shrugged. “If it doesn’t work out, I don’t really want to dwell on it, let alone anyone else.”
“Yeah, okay.” I nodded. “I get that.”
After all, I hadn’t told him about Middlebury.
We hugged, and when Charlie pulled back, he opened his mouth to say something, but then his phone buzzed. “I need to go see Luke,” he said after scanning the message. “I’d like to tell him in person, and Virginia comes out soon, at eight…”
“And then you’ll talk about how much you’re going tomiss each other?” I joked, since winter break started tomorrow. Mrs. Carmichael and my mom were driving down in the morning to bring us back to Darien.
Charlie smirked. “Oh, come on, we’re gonna do way more than talk…” He gestured to his tacky red jeans. “Have youseenme in these pants?”
“Okay, beat it.” I pushed him away. “I don’t want to hear any more.”
He didn’t need to be told twice, but then turned back to look at me. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“You’re welcome,” I said, giving his arm another squeeze. “Johns Hopkins and UNC. I’m so proud of you, Charlie.”
“I’m so proud of you too, Sage.” He paused. “But no, not that.” He shifted on his feet. “Thank you for protecting me.”
I tilted my head. “Protecting you?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “I know that’s why you kept things with Nick a secret from everyone, to protect me. So they wouldn’t suspect…” He trailed off and shook his head. “You should hate me.”
Oh, Charlie, I thought, a lump forming in my throat.Oh, Charlie…
“I let people believe what they want to believe,” he said quietly. “You know they think we’re really in love, and I like it that way. I never deny it.” His voice wavered. “But that’s not fair to you, or Nick. If you wanted to be together again…”
Suddenly hope flared inside me.You’ll tell him?I came close to blurting.If Nick and I wanted to be together again, you’ll tell him the truth? About us? About you?
But when he trailed off, I instead heard my stupid self say, “No, no, stop. Stop right there. I couldneverhate you.”
“I could never hate you either.” Charlie smiled in relief, not noticing my shoulders sag in disappointment. He had no idea how trapped I was, how he was the only person who could rescue me. I still wasn’t sure if mysomedaywith Nick should be now, but him learning Charlie’s secret? I wished it could be.
Charlie opened his arms for a good-night hug, and I stepped into them.
“You’re the best, Sage,” he whispered in my ear. “Thebest.”
No, I’m not, I thought as I wiped my runny nose on his coat.But I’m trying.
