After washing and drying my hands, I didn’t go back in right away. Instead, I sat on a bench outside the theater and swiped into my phone, pulling up Instagram. Nina had posted a story of the student skate. There was music and chatter in the background. “One foot in front of the other,” Paddy was saying as Jack clung to him with both arms, shaking in his skates. “There, there, you got it, dude…”
Then the video panned around the packed rink; Reese and Jennie had been right, itwassuper crowded. There was Val and the soccer girls, and Dove with her junior friends. But it wasn’t until Nina zoomed in on two certain people that I shifted in my seat.
Nick and Emma.
They were holding hands and laughing, Emma wearing his hockey jacket. “Stop showing off, Nick!” someone shouted as he spun her around. “We get it! You’ve got it all!”
You’ve got it all.
I quickly locked my phone and slipped back into the theater, taking the stairs two at a time. Charlie was no longer gazing at Luke, but now they both had a leg stretched out, feet subtly mingling with each other. I nearly tripped over them.
“Shit,” Charlie breathed. “Sage—”
Cheeks flaming, I waved him off and stumbled into my seat, Luke’s Wednesday words now haunting me all over again:Was it really worth it? Pretending it wasn’t real?
No, it hadn’t been worth it.Someday, I’d been telling myself for so long, but maybe someday was sooner than I’d always imagined. Iclosed my eyes, remembering Nick and me intertwined together on the golf course that final night, so happy before Charlie’s distress call.
But it doesn’t matter, I thought. It didn’t matter, because I was still trapped between the twins. I wouldn’t betray Charlie in order to change Nick’s mind. I wouldn’t, couldn’t. It was Charlie’s truth to tell.
It’s up to him, I realized.It’s up to Charlie to decide how soon someday comes.
And I had no choice but to wait.
Wait, and watch Nick and Emma together.
CHAPTER 22
CHARLIE
Mom and Dad didn’t come to every hockeygame, but they always drove down for the weekend matchups and took a bunch of us to dinner at Bistro afterward. “I made a reservation for ten,” Mom told me on Friday. “But maybe we should change it to eleven? In case you want to invite anyone else…?”
I closed my eyes and bit the inside of my cheek. She always did this—baited me, hoping I would bring a girl along.
“No, Mom, ten’s fine,” I said, glancing over at Luke. He was sitting upside down on the chesterfield, absorbed in some psychological thriller. Up until Mom had called, I’d been reading too. His worn copy ofThe Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.I wasn’t really a reader, but Luke laughed when I’d told him that. “I’ve seen your English grades, C. You can read just fine.”
“Oh,” Mom replied, disappointed. “Okay. We’ll leave it then.”
“Ten?” Luke asked after she and I hung up. “For what?”
I rejoined him on the couch, slumping so that I could rest my head back against the cool leather. Luke shifted so his legs were now across my lap. “Just this dinner,” I answered, stomach churninga little. “On Saturday, after my game. She and my dad always take Nick and me and some hockey guys to Bistro.”
“Ah,” Luke said. “So it’s a team thing.”
I nodded as I swiped into my phone and quickly texted Mom:Actually 11. I’ll bring Sage.
Wonderful,she responded with a smiley emoji.I can’t wait to see her!
Not only did Bexley love the idea of Sage and me together, but so did my parents. I imagined Mom already having a box of pictures labeledWedding Slideshow.
“Is Emma going?” Luke asked.
“Yeah,” I said. Since yes, Emma was coming. Nick had invited her.
“Because she’s team manager…?”
“Right,” I lied. “Because she’s our manager.”
Luke was quiet, like he knew I was lying.I’m sorry, I wanted to say.But not yet.My parents…I could barely control myself around Luke already. I had to mentally straitjacket myself these days, so I didn’t fiddle with his fingers during lunch or slide an arm around him as we walked to class. Sometimes I imagined myself actually doing it, but then my heart would clench.No, I’d think, scared shitless.No one can know.
