He was quiet after I finished telling him the history between my parents, with my mom later warning me that long-term relationships had no place in high school.Well, what are you waiting for?I almost said.Say something!
But then I realized he didn’t know if I just wanted him to comfort me, or if I wanted him to offer his opinion.
“What do you think?” I eventually asked.
“I think you should try explaining yourself,” Luke answered. “It sounds like he did most of the talking, and you the listening.” He paused, then laughed a little. “I’m sorry, that might be terrible advice. This isn’t exactly my area of expertise. I’ve dated, but have never had what you and Nick have.”
What you and Nick have.
What did we have?
Love, I realized. Love, but a love I wasn’t sure I was ready for. A love that scared me right now.
I sobbed.
Luke hugged me closer. “Itai desu,” he whispered.
Japanese, I guessed.
“What does that mean?”
“It hurts,” he translated, and hugged me again before adding, “But things will get better. Things will be good again.”
I bit my lip hard so I didn’t let out another wail. Nick said that all the time, ever since we were kids. “Things will be good again, Morgan,” he’d say after talking through a bad test grade or a dumb argument with my mom. “Don’t worry. Things will be good again.”
I planned to lay low on Monday, riding Stinger everywhere so I didn’t have to talk to anyone—and by anyone, I meant Charlie. Part of me wanted to scream at him for his Saturday-night stupidity, while another part wanted to hug him and whisper that I was there for him no matter what. And a third part was nervous…really nervous that he’d put the puzzle pieces together about me and his twin. “Is that Nicky’s Patagonia?” he’d said just before we’d left Mr. Magnusson’s classroom. His eyebrows had furrowed as he touched the fuzzy sleeve. I’d swallowed hard and didn’t answer, my heart never beating so fast.
But Charlie had different ideas. He found me in town during consultation, since Pandora’s had better coffee than the Tuck Shop. “Hi.” I tried to play things cool. “How are you? I didn’t see you yesterday.”
“Because I was sleeping,” he replied. “I slept almost the whole day.”
And just like that, the worried best friend in me seized her chance, touching his arm. “Please don’t do it again,” I said. “You scared theshitout of me.”
Charlie was silent.
“I know you’re unhappy,” I whispered. “The things you said…”
“I was drunk. Obviously I wasn’t thinking.”
“Charlie, please. You can tell me. I don’t want this to get swept under the rug. I’mreallyworried about you.”
“Well, you don’t need to be,” he muttered, glancing around the café. “I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not. You—”
Charlie cut me off with the look on his face. It sent the shivers down my spine, his head cocked and blue eyes wide, as if genuinely intrigued. “You want to talk about not okay?” he asked. “Fine. Let’s talk aboutnot okay.” His voice pitched, sounding scarily like Nick’s on the sixth hole. Light and airy, sarcastic. I braced myself. “You and Nick, Sage,” he said. “That’s not okay.”
Eyes prickling, I pulled him into Pandora’s back hallway, toward the restrooms. “I’m sorry,” I told him quickly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Didn’t tell me?” Charlie shook his head. “Yeah, well, that doesn’t matter now, does it? What matters is that you’ve wrecked him. He’s amess. I went by his room last night, and he told me about you two, but wouldn’t even let me inside. Locked the door and everything.”
Because he’s mad at you, I thought, heart twisting.He thinks I want you and not him.
“I knew this would happen,” he went on. “If you ever got together.” He raked a hand through his hair. “He’d fall fast andhard, and shatter the second you decided things had run their course.” He gave me a look. “I thought I told you on the Vineyard not to hurt him.”
My cheeks caught fire. “You are such a hypocrite, Charlie,” I hissed. “You shatter girls all the time. Like Val, the other night. You give them this fairy tale and then with snap of a finger, it’sover.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “It’s over so quickly that it almost makes youwonder…”
The second the words were out of my mouth, I wished I could take them back. All of a sudden, the bags under Charlie’s eyes were more prominent and his shoulders slumped. He gritted his teeth. “This is different.”
