I said nothing. I did know that.
“And you walk me to class…”
I shook my head.
Luke called me on it. “Yes, you do, Charlie. I’ve seen your schedule. You have French when I have history, and we both know Knowles is nowhere near Buck.”
God, he is so with it, I thought, because he’d never let on that he noticed.
“And what about after the musical?” he continued. “I know you were drunk, but whatwasthat?”
“It was nothing,” I responded, my vocal chords aching. “You’re my friend. You’re such a good…”
“I know you’re scared,” Luke whispered. “It’s scary. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Ever since I met you, I’ve had butterflies in my stomach.”
I felt the corners of my eyes start to sting.
Luke tried again. “Please tell me you like me, Charlie.”
“You’re my friend,” I repeated, nodding like I actually believed it. I blinked, not wanting him to see I was now crying. “You’re such a good friend. I, um, haven’t clicked with anyone the way I click with you.”
He put a hand on my knee, sending a series of tremors up my leg. “Then why can’t we be something more? What’s stopping you?”
I stood; I needed to leave. “Sage will be looking for me. Or Val—Val will be looking for me. She wanted at least one dance.”
Luke stood too. “Charlie, wait…”
But I didn’t wait. I shook him off, and then left him there in the dark.
CHAPTER 15
SAGE
I’d always thought the library’s glass-walled study rooms were great for people-watching. You could be busy doing calculus homework, and then glance up to see anything happen. A librarian reshelving books, boys playing leapfrog down the long hallway, maybe even a couple sneaking downstairs to “explore” the stacks together.
It didn’t occur to me that the windows worked both ways until Nick and I agreed to study together one night.It’s fine, I told myself when the door clicked shut behind me.It’s totally fine. Keep it professional, like you’re project partners or something.Nick was already sitting at the cozy pine table, his hair disheveled.
“Hey,” I said as I took the chair across from him. “How was practice?” Homecoming two weeks ago had brought the end of fall sports. Hockey season was now upon us. I felt a sudden burst of pride, thrilled that Nick had been named captain this year.
“Ugh,” Nick said, groaning. “Good, but alsobrutal.It’s No Puck Luck Week.”
I sucked in a breath to commiserate with him. No Puck Luck Week happened right after varsity tryouts, when the hockey coachesskated the team into the ground. The guys didn’t touch the pucks at practice; it was all power skating and conditioning drills. “Yeah, I heard,” I said. “Charlie was whining about it in architecture today.”
Nick half-chuckled, half-rolled his eyes. “Yet he smokes us in sprintseverytime.” He shook his head. “I still don’t fully get it. He’s so good, but he’s not gonna play. All the top D3 programs, and he passed.”
“Wait, what?” I stopped unloading my backpack. “He saidno? He’s not playing?”
Nick nodded.
“He didn’t tell me,” I whispered. Charlie hadn’t mentioned college in a while, and I hadn’t asked. I knew he’d turned down Bowdoin after his less-than-enthusiastic visit, but then he’d stopped talking about the process altogether. My stomach swirled. There was only a month left until early decisions were released. Only Nick knew where I’d decided to apply, his response shooting some confidence up my spine. “I like that.” He’d nodded, smiling. “I can see you there.”
“Yeah,” he said now. “Back in October, he said he wanted to go…” He paused. “Nowhere near here.”
My heart twisted.Nowhere near here?
“What does that mean?”
“Not New England. That’s what he told Mom and Dad. He said he wants a lot of options, and that hockey limited them. Dad was bummed at first—he was really pulling for a NESCAC—but he’s coming around. Mom too.”
