Our numbers started dwindling around 12:15 a.m. Mom gave us all good-night hugs before going upstairs. Dad soon followed, and afterward Nick and I sprang into action. I went to the garage to get the beers, and he retrieved one of the cakes from the kitchen. We reconvened in the family room.
“So.” He handed me a fork. “Did we think it was a good birthday?”
I nodded and hacked off a hunk. “Yeah, great birthday.”
Nick popped open his Budweiser. “That didn’t sound very convincing.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, sorry. It’s just that ‘Rumble in the Jungle’ was onehellof a party…”
Nick laughed mid-sip of beer, spraying it all over the half-eaten cake. I cracked up and then started coughing when my cake-beer combination went down the wrong pipe. “I’m glad we came home,” Nick said once I was stable. “I love being home.”
“Me too,” I responded. Because Aunt Whit aside, I did. It was looser here, the clench I always felt inside me. Only on the Vineyard did it ever really disappear, and it was the worst at Bexley. This was somewhere in the middle.
Nick switched on the TV and asked, “You also said no to Bowdoin?”
“Uh-huh,” I said.Before saying no to Trinity.I felt him looking at me, but I kept my eyes glued to theSVUrerun on-screen.
Nick released a deep breath. “You don’t want to play, do you?”
I shook my head.
He was quiet for a second, and then I glanced over to see him nod. “I wouldn’t keep dragging this out then,” he said. “It’s not fair to the coaches. They need to know you aren’t interested, so they can move on and make offers to other players.”
“I know,” I told him. “You think I don’t know that?”
Nick backed off, but tried again a couple of minutes later. “So, uh, where are you applying?”
I cleared my throat. “Nowhere near here.”
Nick laughed. “Very funny.”
I didn’t say anything. Instead, I picked at what was left of the birthday cake. When he stopped laughing, I wondered if he’d gotten the message. I didn’t want to go to college in New England. I didn’t want to graduate from Bexley just to move to another small campus a state or few away.
“I want something different,” I’d told Luke. “I’m tired. I’m tired of being in a fishbowl.” My voice sort of cracked. “Ineedsomething different.”
I’d thought he’d laugh at me, the person whose name everyoneknew, but he didn’t. He nodded thoughtfully. “You want a big pond,” he said. “You want to be swallowed up.”
I nodded back. “Exactly.”
Now, I rubbed my forehead. “I’m sorry.”
“What?” Nick gave me a look. “Are you kidding? Don’t be. Yeah, it’ll be weird if you’re far away, but we knew we weren’t gonna end up at the same place…” He paused. “You should tell Mom and Dad, though.”
I sighed. “I think that’s Future Charlie’s problem.”
“How aboutTomorrowCharlie’s problem?”
“Okay, fine. But only if Tomorrow Nick is there for moral support.”
“Sure, I’ve got you.”
“Really?”
“Of course,” he said, mid-yawn. “You’re my twin. I’ve always got you.”
Nick fell asleep on the couch, hugging Sundance close. Cass followed me upstairs after I cleaned up any incriminating evidence and shut off the downstairs lights. He made himself at home on the foot of my bed while I brushed my teeth, and then I stripped down to my boxers and pulled back the covers. It was only October, but Mom had already put on my flannel sheets. She knew I liked them best.
My room at home was silent, so silent that you could hear my watch ticking from over on my dresser. Sage’s nickname for it wasthe tomb. She sometimes slept over when we were home on break,usually when one of us was upset about something. I remembered in sixth grade, when her parents said they were getting a divorce. She was really torn up about it, so I’d snuck into her house after they went to sleep and hugged her while she cried.
