“I’m not the person everyone thinks I am,” I whispered.
She hugged me tighter. “Yes, you are. This is only one part of you, and it won’t change how we feel about you. We love you. We’llalwayslove you.”
I shuddered. “You have no idea what I’m like at school.”
I waited for her to ask me, but she didn’t. She just started to comb her fingers through my hair. “Does Nicky know?”
“Yeah,” I admitted, “and Sage.”
“Okay.” She let out a deep breath. “Okay.”
We sat there in silence again. Mom kept finger-brushing my hair like when I was little, but eventually she murmured, “Dad is just surprised.”
More tears spilled. “Never would’ve guessed,” I mumbled, unable to stop shaking. He’d left—left. He didn’t even let me explain or try to understand.
“Give him some time.” She kissed my forehead. “He’s surprised now, but I think he’ll soon realize he’s relieved. Believe it or not, it really hurt his feelings that you never invited any girls to dinner or back here for a weekend. He thinks you’re embarrassed of us.”
I shrugged. “None of them were him.”
Mom tilted her head. “There’s a him?”
“Yeah,” I said. “He’s not very happy with me right now, but yeah. There is.”
“Does he have a name?”
“Luke.”
“Luke? Luke Morrissey? The Hoppers’ neighbor?”
I nodded.
“We met him,” Mom said. “He was with Sage at the second Ames game. Only for a few minutes, but your dad complimented his handshake, and I liked how well-spoken he was, and that he didn’t quite catch all his bedhead.” She sort of smiled. “He’s adorable.”
“Yeah, he is.” I sort of smiled back. “But also a major smart-ass.” My heart flickered, then flamed. I took a deep breath. “I love him.”
She smiled more and wiped her eyes. “Dad’s probably in the study.”
Dad was really quiet after I got up the guts to open the study door. There was no point in knocking, since the doors had glass panes. He’d seen me outside. My body stiffened as I joined him by the fireplace, sitting in the one of the leather club chairs. Neither of us spoke. “Are you sure?” was what he eventually settled on.
“Yes,” I said, almost adding,You would know if you’d stayed at the table.
He nodded, then rose from his seat and crossed the room to the bar cart. I watched him grab a bottle of scotch and two tumblers before locating a pair of cigars. The ones from Uncle Theo that he’d been saving for a special occasion. “Mom won’t let us smoke these in the house,” he said, “so we’ll go out on the deck later.” He poured us each a couple of fingers of whiskey, handed me my glass, and then held up his own. “To you,” he said. “To you, my son. You are a stronger man than I will ever be.”
We clinked glasses.
“I love you, Charlie,” he told me. “I love you very much.”
My train on Sunday was obnoxiously early, but I needed to get back to Bexley. Mom and Dad hugged me long and hard before Mom handed me an unsealed envelope. “I found this in one of the albums last night.”
I waited until I’d found a seat before checking out the mystery photo. But everything turned to white noise when I did…becausein Mom’s perfect handwriting, the caption on the back read:Charlie (10) and a (sleepy!) new friend at Cousin Banks’s christening party!
And there we were: Luke and me.You’ve met,my mind nudged me as I soaked in the picture.You’ve met before.We were such little kids, but it was unmistakably, undeniably, even eerilyus. I was wearing these navy pants with green alligators embroidered on them, and Luke had on a blue-and-white sweater vest and his glasses. We were sitting on the Hoppers’ big red couch, and while I had my arms crossed over my chest and sported my jaw-aching grin, Luke wasn’t even aware the picture was being taken, because he was asleep with his head on my shoulder. I reached for my phone and went to my camera roll.
Pretty soon my eyes prickled. Without even knowing it, we’d reenacted this photo a thousand times, and Sage had documented them all: me smiling with Luke passed out against my shoulder. My favorite was from a while ago, Luke and me together on Sage’s chaise. I wasn’t really looking at the camera, instead, grinning down at a dreaming Luke. Our legs were entwined, and he held one of my hands.
I leaned back against my seat and shut my eyes.
I really wanted to be holding his hand right now.
