Pulse pounding, I took a few steps back from the stove to lean against the kitchen’s small butcher-block island.
I hate you, I wrote to see if my inkling was right. I used to tell Tag I hated him all the time and he always had the same comeback.
I don’t believe you, read the next email.
Tears prickled in the corners of my eyes.Why not?
The minute that passed after I pressed Send might as well have taken an entire day.
Twenty-four hours.
My heart lurched when an answer finally appeared.
Because you’ve got my favorite smile on your face, Tag had written.
Tag. Taggart Swell, this year’s Jester.
FOUR
I didn’t respond to Tag’s last email, and he didn’t offer a follow-up message or any sort of “further instructions.” The conversation ended, so I went back to stirring my chili, blinking away my stupid tears and annoyed with myself that I’d never considered Tag as a Jester option. His other half was the obvious choice—popular, whimsical, and always up for a good time—and I knew how much Alex wanted the title. I guess I’d wanted that dream to come true for him.
And how did I miss it? I berated myself. His Jester email address’s Roman numerals! Tag and I both took Latin; the XXIII should’ve been an easy tip-off.
Ugh, Tag—oh, I could see it now. He too was popular but perhaps the previous Jester saw a little bit moreedgein him. While Alex and Tag were both smart, Tag was also clever and calculated. Alex could be too spontaneous, but Tag was his perfect counterpart, a careful planner. Together, no one wasfunnier than they were. But Alex was a goofball twenty-four seven while Tag could easily dial his humor back and become thoughtful and serious. “That kid is a true leader,” I’d once overheard Josh telling my mom during swim season. “He never fucks around on the pool deck; he gives the meet his all. Hell, his pump-up speeches are better than mine.”
The Jester knew him, I thought.Whoever had tapped Tag knew all this.
I hated that my mind immediately went to the senior girl he’d hung out with last year whenever he and Blair weren’t together. She’d been a star on the swim team and absolutely gorgeous and—
Shut up, the now-boiling chili told me. I moved to take the pot off the burner.You broke up with him, remember? He can date whomever he wants. It’s none of your business.
I didn’t like that my fears had come true. With girls flinging themselves at Tag left and right, spiked vines had tangled around my heart—making me worry that he would dump me for one of them, because he hadn’t exactly been pushing the attention away. “He’s a good guy, Lily. You know he’s just being nice,” Alex had tried to reassure me, but soon the vines had become too tight. Three weeks after Tag and I broke up, he and Blair had been spotted making out near the basketball court after a dance. From then on, he was attached to her or his swim teammate.
Does he miss me, though?I sometimes wondered.Even a little bit?
We’d dated for almost two years. I had been so in love with him, and our memories—even the silly arguments—were like my favorite movie. I replayed them over and over again in my head.
Which, deep down, I knew meant I was in love with him still.
I shook the thought away and ate my dinner alone. My mom didn’t burst through the front door until almost eight. “I am putting on pajamas!” she announced while running up the stairs. “And then how about we bingeCriminal Minds?”
“Capital idea!” I replied.Criminal Mindswas our comfort show.
“How was your meeting?” I ventured halfway through an episode. We were both snuggled on the couch, my mom now wearing her exploding fireworks PJs.
“Complete chaos,” she replied, chili long ago inhaled. “We discussed the freshmen’s final exam’s structure and content.”
“Ah,” I said. “Modeled after the classic fifth grade language arts test?”
My mom nodded. “There will be a matching section right out of the gate.”
“True or false?”
“Naturally.”
“Short answers?”
“No, too difficult,” she kidded. “It’ll be fill in the blank instead…witha word bank.”
