“You’ve always been such a pain in the neck,” I said, and she winced in pain, trying to smile at me.
“Y-you always thought you were the sh—the shit,” she countered.
I smiled, stroking her hair, and said, “You should have told me you liked me.”
“Y-you f-fell for the wrong p-person.” She coughed, and I had to raise her torso so she could breathe better.
“Hey, easy… Don’t talk, OK?” I said in despair, because her life was slipping through my fingers and there was nothing I could do about it.
“Do me a f-favor?” she said. “H-have a good life.”
I nodded, looking into her bright, beautiful eyes.
I knew then I was losing a person that mattered. And it hurt more than I could have imagined.
Following my instincts, knowing I would never have that chance again, I leaned over and gently laid my lips on hers. She squeezed my hand and used all her strength to try and hold me closer. My heart was pounding.
I didn’t pull away until I knew she was no longer with me.
* * *
I didn’t know where to go or what to do.
I was desperate, I was sad, I was scared. I imagined finding Kami or my brother splayed out on the ground like Ellie.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the last words I’d spoken to Thiago, how little time we’d spent together since the school year started, the damage we had done to each other.
How had we come to this?
I swore to myself that if we lived through this, I’d start looking at life differently. I wouldn’t suffer over a girl. I wouldn’t allow a single day to pass without letting the people around me know that I loved them.
I’d watch TV with Mom, even if it was just that stupid romantic shit she couldn’t get enough of on Netflix. I’d throw my arm around her on the couch and veg out until we fell asleep. I’d plan trips with my brother, shoot hoops with him in our free time, do all the stuff we used to do when we were little. As for Kami… Well, I’d do whatever it took, but if we couldn’t be together, I wasn’t going to force it. I’d let her go, and if that meant letting my brother have her, then I’d accept it and go on with my life.
I had made a promise to Ellie, and I was going to keep that promise.
I raced through the halls, not knowing what to do, looking for a way out, an open door, anything. Other students stopped me,asked me where to go, what to do, but I ignored them and went on my way.
Every few minutes, I heard shouts—screams. I couldn’t imagine there were many people left alive, and worse, no one seemed to be doing anything to save the few of us left, fighting to survive. The cops were still outside; the ambulances were waiting—we were alone.
Why?
Why, dammit?!
Then they found me.
Julian and his cronies.
They beat me to a pulp, of course. Three against one…and the leader of those three hated me and blamed me for all his problems.
Looking back, I wondered what would have happened if Thiago had thought I was dead, if he hadn’t heard that message over the PA and knew I was still alive.
I bet everything would have been different.
Because he would have saved himself…
He’d have made it out with Kami and Cameron, and I’d be the one who was somewhere else, somewhere far, far away…
But things don’t always happen according to plan. Life surprises you, it smacks you across the face, and somehow, you’re just supposed to smile and keep going.
Well, screw that. And screw life for all its twists and turns.
And above all, screw those three psycho bastards.
