“He’s going to have to learn to live with it, Kam. I’ve had to live with knowing you love him. Knowing you’ve kissed him, that you’ve had sex with him.”
She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself. Then she said, “Can I confess something to you?”
I nodded and waited.
“It never felt right.”
“What didn’t?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“The sex…” Her cheeks blushed a beautiful pink as she said this. “It felt like…like…”
“Like what?”
Her hesitation told me that she knew what she was about to say would mark our destinies.
“Like I was doing something wrong,” she said.
I shook my head. I’m not sure why, but I think it was because I’d been hoping she’d say something else—something about me. I tried to push that feeling aside with a joke: “Don’t tell me you felt like you were doing something sinful!”
She grinned briefly and said, “No. I felt like I was cheating on you.”
I held my breath. She covered her face with her hands and squealed, “I know! It’s ridiculous!”
Feeling an inner peace I hadn’t experienced for a long time, I grabbed her by the hands and told her, “No. No, it isn’t. It can’t be. Because I’ve felt the same way…with every girl I’ve slept with, Kam. You left your mark on me. It’s just that I was too young to know back then that I had already met the love of my life.”
“But, Thiago, that’s crazy, that’s…”
“It’s my truth,” I interrupted her, bringing her hands to my lips and kissing her knuckles. “And it can be yours, too, if you want.”
The seconds before she spoke were some of the most uncertain I’d ever felt.
