Chapter TenKami
I almost cracked my head open when I jumped out of Thiago’s window, but it didn’t matter, I had to get out of that house. How could I have done that?
I could always blame the alcohol, say it hadn’t been the real me because otherwise, how could I explain cheating on my boyfriend, and likethat?
But it wasn’t the first time Thiago and I had shared…something. And this was the farthest we’d taken it yet. That time in his car a few weeks ago had been an isolated incident, an attempt to heal past wounds or put a happy ending on a childhood romance, a way of learning not to hate each other so we could move on. The almost-kiss at school, that would never have happened if I hadn’t been so upset about Cameron getting bullied. But this time…
I loved Taylor. I knew I did. But what I felt for Thiago was something different. Something forbidden. Something that drove me absolutely insane.
Stop it. Stop it, Kamila. Taylor’s the one for you. Taylor’s the one who takes care of you, who respects you, who makes you laugh, who supports you while everyone else at schooldespises you—he doesn’t give a damn about showing how much you mean to him in front of them. Thiago’s not even a student, he’s a coach! He’s your boyfriend’s brother, and besides, he’s too serious, too standoffish, too sarcastic. Taylor’s the right choice. He always will be.
Taylor…
In my room, I plugged in my phone, which had gone dead, and opened my messages.
Taylor had called me like ten times.
Please, Kami, where are you?
Please, Kami, I’m worried.
Babe, come on, answer the phone. I’m sorry, OK?
I called back, and he picked up immediately.
“Where are you? Are you all right?”
I fell back in bed and closed my eyes.
“I’m fine,” I said in a tired voice.
“Where are you?”
“I’m at home. I’m sorry. I just drank too much, and I started feeling bad.”
“Listen, Kami, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I acted like that. It’s just…I don’t know, I have this feeling like something’s going on between you and my brother. I don’t know what it is or why you two are hiding it.”
I was literally the worst person in the world. “Taylor, there’s nothing going on between Thiago and me…” Why was I lying? Was I incapable of being honest with myself? It’s because I loved them both. That’s why.
“I know,” he said after a pause. “I know, and that’s why I’m sorry. You want me to come over? You want to come back here? Come sleep with me. Mom won’t be back until noon tomorrow…”
It was tempting, and if the thing with Thiago hadn’t happened just half an hour before, I’d have accepted his offer withouthesitating. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t get into his bed after I’d just crawled out of his brother’s. I couldn’t let myself fall that low. “I’m tired. We should leave it for another day.”
For a few seconds, he said nothing, but then he gave in. “Fine. Get some rest, OK? We can go for a walk tomorrow or have breakfast or something, if you want.”
“We need to work on our human sexuality project.”
“You’re damn right we do,” he said in that sly tone that always made me laugh.
“Tomorrow at the library, then?”
“Yeah. I’ll drive.”
“Sounds good,” I said, trying to clear out that sadness in my chest so I could get on with my life.
“Good night, babe.” He sighed.
“Good night.”
