He spun around, halfway to the hedge.
“I already told you that you don’t want to hear it.”
“And I already told you that I do.”
“Fine,” he said. “You want me to talk? I’ll talk. I think you’re making a huge mistake. I think you’ll see that one day and be too stubborn to admit it. I think you’re marrying someone who doesn’t know the first thing about you.”
“Nate knows me,” I said, but the truth of what he said stung. I’d only let Nate see a highly contained version of me. He didn’t yet know how headstrong I could be. He hadn’t seen me get angry and say things I didn’t mean in the heat of the moment.
“I’ve seen you together,” George said. “You behave like a domesticated animal. He doesn’t know the real you.”
“And the real me is so horrible, right?” I raised my voice, fighting the sting of tears. “How could anyone possibly want to spend their life with me?”
He held out his arms. “The real you isn’t a lapdog. The real you has fire and a sharp tongue and strong opinions.”
“That have always gotten me in trouble,” I argued. “I’m trying to be better than that. I’m trying to be a good girlfriend.”
“You shouldn’t have to try so hard, Frankie. Who you are should be more than enough.”
I brushed away the tears as soon as they fell.
“And what about your apartment?” George said, his voice softening.
“I’m giving my notice.”
“But youloveyour apartment.”
I did. It was the first place where I’d lived on my own.
“I know, but it doesn’t make sense to pay rent when Nate owns. And you saw his house—it’s a thousand times nicer than my place.”
“Your apartment is perfect. It’syou. Keep it, Frankie. Sublet it so if things don’t work out, you can move back in.”
“George. I get that you’re concerned, but right now I need you to be happy for me.”
His jaw flexed. “I can’t be happy for you. Not this time. Not when you’re choosing to be with someone who makes you smaller. Quieter. Dull.”
I felt like I’d been slapped. No one had the power to wound me like George did.
“I didn’t realize how little you think of me.”
George closed his eyes, his breath billowing like smoke from a chimney. “I think the world of you.”
“Then what’s the problem? You barely know Nate.”
“Youbarely know Nate.” His eyes met mine. “I knowyou, Frankie.”
A sharp wind ripped across the field, sending my hair whipping around my face. I stared into my best friend’s eyes and felt my heart breaking. I didn’t want to lose him, but I didn’t know how to fix this chasm between us.
“Nate is a good person,” I defended. “He’s kind and steady and easy to be around.”
His lip curled in revulsion. “Easy? That’s what you’re looking for in a partner?”
“What’s so wrong with that?”
He said nothing, and I threw up my hands. “What do you want from me? Do you want me to be alone forever?”
“Of course not. But you never wanted to get married. You never wanted to lose yourself to someone else.” His voice was low and steady. “I don’t want to lose you, either.”
