I keep the phone pressed to my ear even after Nate hangs up, my eyes fixed on my best friend. He takes a step toward me, guilt evident on every inch of his face.
“George, what did you do?”
Chapter Forty-seven
“Frankie, I can explain,” George says, stepping closer as I turn to face him.
“Explain what?” My ears feel stuffed full of cotton.
“Let’s sit down. Take a breath before we talk about it.”
“Donottell me to take a breath. The man I was supposed to marry just told me you know why he left me. Why would he say that, George?”
He reaches for me, but I twist away. “I was going to tell you everything. I’ve been waiting for the right time.”
“The right time forwhat?”
“That night at the manor.” He grips the back of his neck. “I made a mistake. After you went to bed, I got very, very drunk.”
I remember George and Darwin with large glasses of whiskey and a group of men heading outside, arms slung over shoulders. Nate was with them. It looked like they were going to smoke cigars. I’d given Nate a kiss and told him I’d see himupstairs. I fell asleep before he returned, and when I woke, I found the note.
I love you, but I can’t marry you.
“We were hanging out—Nate, his buddy, your brothers—talking shit, telling stories about the way you were when we were kids. Moby and Darwin were going on about how you were always trying to fight them to prove you were just as tough. I told Nate about the time you called our French teacher a misogynistic asshole after he chewed out some girl you didn’t even like. Dumb nostalgic stuff. But I could tell Nate was shocked—that he hadn’t heard any of these stories from you. You hadn’t even told him how you quit your job. He kept saying, ‘That doesn’t sound like Francesca.’ And I fucking loved it, Frankie.”
“Why?”
George closes the distance between us. “Because no one knows you better than I do. Not even your fiancé. And I rubbed his face in it. I told Nate all the things I knew and he didn’t know. About the fire deep in your belly, and how you’re most relaxed when you dance. I told him how your eyes flare when you’re angry, and that when you cry, the violet looks even more violet.”
“I don’t understand why you’d do that.”
“Frankie, I wasn’t thinking straight. I’d had whiskey and an edible from Moby, but it wasn’t just that. It was a rush, having power over him. Darwin tried to get me to shut up, but I couldn’t. It finally got to the point that Nate asked me point-blank if I was in love with you.”
I can’t breathe. I can barely ask the question. “What did you say?”
“I told him the truth.” George takes a deep breath and holds my face between his hands. “I told him I loved you in a way he’d never understand.”
I shake my head. My heartbeat is panicked.
“I’m sorry, Frankie.” He looks at me, his eyes pleading. “I didn’t know he’d call off the wedding. I never meant for that to happen. I didn’t think I could survive watching you marry another man, but I knew I would if that was what made you happy. And you were. That night when we danced, you were so, so happy.”
I step back, struggling to stay calm, to make sense of everything George has revealed. One question is louder than all the others. “You had feelings for me before this week?”
“I’m in love with you, Frankie. I’ve been in love with you for a very long time.”
“No, that’s not possible.” But even as I say this, I see the truth of it in his eyes. “George?”
“I tried to fight it. Frankie, I tried so hard. Our friendship is more important to me than anything.Youare more important. I knew you didn’t want a relationship, not with me, not with anyone. You scoffed at high school sweethearts and your parents for getting married so young.” He closes the distance between us, taking my shaking hand between his, holding it between our chests.
“What did you always say? That no one was going to be everything to you. I took that internship in Edmonton because I couldn’t keep living together without asking you to be with me. You wanted freedom, and I wanted you to have it.”
My ears are ringing. “So you decided what was best for both of us?”
He shakes his head. “I thought,” he says, his voice breaking. “I thought that when you were ready to share your life with someone, you’d realize that person should be me.”
“But you didn’t tell me.” I’m having trouble catching my breath. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I told you.”
