He swallows. “Yeah. Get mad at me, Alice—I deserve it.”
I could. I feel unreasonably jealous and betrayed in a way that confuses me. I’m angry with Charlie for laying this on me after he’s made me like him so much. And he wants me to lash out at him, to walk away.
“I’m not going to give you that,” I say.
Charlie’s jaw clenches, but he doesn’t speak.
“You made a bad decision about who to sleep with when you were twenty. You already know that. Now I do, too. But you weren’t the only one at fault.”
He doesn’t respond.
“Sam has clearly forgiven Percy. They’re disgustingly in love. They’ve moved on. They’re married. They’re having a baby.”
Still, he says nothing.
“And I know that’s not who you are, Charlie.”
“Thatiswho I am,” he says, eyes wide. “Why can’t you see that? I’m the guy who slept with the love of his brother’s life.”
I shake my head. Charlie deserves to have someone in his corner. “Screw that.”
He blinks at me.
“Maybe we wouldn’t have gotten along when we were younger,” I tell him. “Maybe I would have been too shy, and you would have been too full of yourself. But I’m not friends with the person you were then. I’m friends withyou.”
I give him a moment so it sinks in, but there’s only a slight change in his posture as he glances around the room.
“Youbuilt this magical tree house for your niece or nephew,” I say. “You made the best birthday cake I’ve ever tasted. You takemy grandmother to choir practice and make me laugh harder than I have in my entire life. You care about people, and you’re far kinder and more considerate than you give yourself credit for.”
Charlie has gone still, but he hasn’t taken his eyes off me. He’s listening. He’s always listening. But I hope he’s hearing me, too.
“I’m not friends with the person you think you were in the past. I’m friends with you now. And I like that man.” I rest my hand on his knee. “Even if he’s high-maintenance.”
Charlie lets out a short, disbelieving laugh but quickly falls serious again. “I’m still selfish, Alice,” he says, his voice rough. “I still want things I shouldn’t.”
Charlie’s gaze drops ever so slowly to my mouth.
Laughter and music carry on outside these walls, but all I hear is the beating of my heart.
“Why shouldn’t you?” I whisper.
His eyes land on mine, and there’s nothing but him and me together in this oasis in the treetops. The lamplight blankets us in gold, and Charlie’s smell mixes with the wood, like the most luxurious forest.
“Charlie,” I say quietly when he doesn’t answer.
He gives me a long look and says, “Fuck it.”
I’d smile, but his mouth is already on mine. His tongue parts my lips, greedy. It’s unhinged, the way he devours me, growling dirty things against my skin. Where he’s going to put his tongue. The parts of his body he wants to see covered in my red lipstick. What he thought about in the shower this morning. How he wants me to keep my glasses on. I scramble to unbutton his shirt. We’re going to do this.Finally.
Charlie curses my name as he wraps his hand around my ponytail and pulls my neck to the side so he can kiss his way down my throat to my collarbone.
“I like how desperate you sound,” I murmur.
“You have no idea.”
He guides me onto my back, and hovers over me, spreading my legs with a knee while he works at the buttons at the top of my jumpsuit. His shirt hangs open, and I smooth my hands over his chest.
“I might have some sort of idea,” I say, tilting my hips to meet his. He’s already so hard.
