He’s deadly still. “We’re friends.”
“Do you think about making your other friends scream your name?”
He pauses but doesn’t concede. “I started sleeping around when I was fourteen. I’ve made a lot of people scream my name.”
He’s trying to scare me off, but I won’t scare easily. “That’s not what I asked.”
Charlie’s eyes drop to my mouth, and when they return to me, there’s no mistaking the desire in them. His gaze is unflinching. For a moment, we remain that way, focused on each other, chests moving with short, shallow breaths.
“No,” Charlie says. “It isn’t.” Quivering golden light caresses the contours of his face. He steps closer, head tilted down to me. The space seems to close in around us. My stomach flips, and I think that’s what he wants. He’s trying to make me nervous, to call my bluff.
“I see you when I close my eyes at night,” he says, eyes burning. “You fill my dreams. I think of you when I’m in the shower.I imagine how it would be to have you on top of me, how your hair would feel falling against my chest. I’ve thought about how many times I could make you come with my mouth. With my fingers. With both.”
My lips part. My knees go weak. “Don’t stop.”
The twist of his mouth becomes wicked.
“I’ve wondered how long I could hold out when I finally had you. And if I could make you beg for me. I’ve fantasized about how you would taste. How you would feel around me. Since I met you, you’re the only person I’ve imagined screaming my name.”
It is an effort not to launch myself into his arms and ask for everything he’s just described.
“Can you use the rest of your body as well as you use your mouth?”
Charlie’s eyes glimmer. “Better.”
“And you like me.” I reach up, running my fingers over his hair. The newly shorn strands tickle my skin.
Charlie takes my face in his hands. “I think I might like you more than anyone.”
I turn my face in to his palm and lay a kiss there. Charlie closes his eyes briefly and inhales through his nose.
“But you deserve someone who can give you more,” he says, looking at me with new determination. “You’re smart and kind and funny. You’re a good person and, god, you’re beautiful, Alice.” He tucks a curl behind my ear, his eyes turning sad. “I love spending time with you, but I’m not in a place where I can get involved with anyone. I’m not built for a long-term relationship.”
Charlie is unlike anyone I’ve ever known.I’munlike the Alice I know with him. Iwantmore. And the way he’s holding himself back is more exhilarating than anything I’ve experienced. Confused eyes follow the curve of my mouth as I smile.
“I’m not looking for a boyfriend,” I say. “And in the name of transparency, I’ve also thought about you naked on occasion.”
His gaze crackles. “Oh yeah?”
“I blame that book you gave me.” I loop my arms around his neck, and Charlie places his hands at the base of my spine. It’s almost like we’re dancing.
“Alice Everly.” He turns my name into a full sentence. “What do you want?”
“This,” I tell him. “I want to kiss you, and touch you, and be touched by you. I like you, and I trust you. And neither of us wants to be anything more than friends.”
What I want is to be the person who makes Charlie come undone. I rise on my tiptoes and press my lips to his neck. “I want you,” I say into his skin. I whisper in his ear, “It doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be just for the summer—another activity on our list. No expectations past the end of August.”
He turns his cheek to meet my eyes. “I don’t want to mislead you.This,” he says, tugging my hips to his, “is all I can give you.” He tips his head closer. “I don’t want you to regret me.”
“If you think that’s a possibility, then I haven’t been making myself clear.” I brush my nose against his. A thread of space separates our mouths. I’ve never wanted to lay claim to another person’s lips so badly. “It’s not just your remarkable face or ridiculous body—you’re pretty great, Charlie. I could never regret you.”
His eyes flare. “You might be the biggest surprise of my life, Alice,” he says.
And then he crushes his lips to mine.
29
It’s not a kiss. Or not one that I’ve ever experienced. Because Charlie kisses me with every millimeter of his body. With the command of his lips, with his teeth, which coax my bottom lip from my top, and his tongue, which meets mine with confident strokes. He kisses with the tips of his strong fingers as they curve behind my ears, angling me exactly where he wants. With the arch of his back, bending over me, engulfing my senses, and the press of his knee, urging my legs apart. With each sound I make, he adjusts. Kisses me deeper, moves his hands to my waist, bringing me closer.
