Wednesday, October 1
37 Days Since Coming Home
I take a cab to the hospital. I don’t trust myself to drive. I could barely process what Percy was telling me beyond the wordsopen-heart surgeryandintensive care.
“He’s okay,” I tell myself. Because that’s what Percy told me. I keep saying it, even when the driver looks at me in the mirror with alarm.
I walk as quickly as I can through the lobby, and then I start to run. I get lost in my panic. I spin around, trying to find the room number, and then I see a pregnant woman at the end of the hallway. Percy’s in a yellow hospital gown and mask, talking to a doctor, her hands on her lower back. As I get closer, I realize the doctor is Sam.
She raises her hand when she sees me, and I know how I must look, red-faced and tearstained, mascara running to my chin.
“He’s fine,” she says, hugging me around her belly. “Right, Sam?”
“I’m not sure how happy he is with you, Percy.” Sam turns to me. “But yes, he’s fine, given the circumstances. Ross procedures are major cardiac surgery, but Dr. Lim is one of our best, and she’s pleased with how it went. He’s more than twenty-four hours post-op and recovering well.”
“I would have called you sooner,” Percy says. “But they’re strict about visitors the day of surgery. I know this must be a shock. We wanted him to tell you. Sam tried to convince him, but he’s been adamant.”
I stare at her, open-mouthed. This was scheduled. Charlie knew all along he was having heart surgery. I put a hand on the wall.
Sam looks apologetic. “He didn’t tell us at first, either. Fortunately, this is my hospital, and there was no way he could have kept it a secret. But I’ll let him explain himself.” He gives Percy a meaningful look. “Another day.”
“There’s a nurse in with him right now,” Percy says. “He’ll move out of the ICU to the surgery unit tomorrow morning.”
I can barely process what they’re saying.
“He knows you’re here, and I’ll show you to the room when he’s ready,” Sam says. “But do you want anything in the meantime? Water? Maybe a Kleenex?”
Over the next half an hour in the cafeteria, I listen to Sam explain that Charlie had a stent in the spring in addition to yesterday’s surgery. I typeaortic valve stenosisandaortic coarctationinto my phone so I can look them up later.
“It came out of nowhere,” Percy says. “Sam forced Charlie into seeing a doctor back in March after he complained about being out of breath at the gym.”
“He’d been feeling faint, too,” Sam says. “His blood pressure reading was high, and his doctor found a murmur.”
I think back to the fear in Charlie’s eyes when he grew winded that day working on the dock, and to when I’d seen him throughthe window, with the cuff around his arm. He’d said his blood pressure had been a little high. I hadn’t given it much thought. I assumed it was related to work stress.
Sam tells me that the conditions are congenital, that they’re most often passed down from fathers to their children. “We assumed Dad died of a heart attack, but there wasn’t an autopsy. He likely had the same conditions. In severe cases, left untreated, they can cause sudden death.”
I look at Percy’s stomach.
“The baby’s okay,” Percy says. “The prenatal ultrasounds have all been good—it’s less common in girls.”
“A girl?” I muster a smile.
“A girl.” Percy smiles back.
But then I look at Sam. He seems so together, despite all of this. “What about you?”
“I did the screening after Charlie’s diagnosis. I’m clear.”
“It’s been a tough year,” Percy says. “But Charlie’s going to heal, and we’re going to have this little girl. It’s going to get better.” She looks to Sam. “Right?”
He kisses her forehead. “I swear.” And then he glances at the clock. “You should be good to see him now, Alice. Are you ready?”
I take a deep breath and nod my head. “Yes.”
Before Sam leads me to the elevator bank, Percy gives my hand a squeeze. “Thank you for coming.”
I squeeze back. “Thank you for calling me.”
