“Want me to kick his ass?”
“Yes.” I let out a long breath. “But he’s pretty strong.”
My dad squeezes me. “So are you.”
When the buzzer rings, I peer around the room, puzzled. We’re all here. I see Luca and Lavinia exchange a glance. I look through the peephole and gasp, swing the door open, and throw myself into my mother’s arms.
“How are you here?” I say, tears already running down my face.
“Nan thought you might need me.”
I bury my face in her neck and breathe in the sweet fragrance of lily of the valley. Her hair is cut even shorter, and she isn’t as soft as she used to be, but she smells just like my mom.
Mom and I eat chocolate cake in our pajamas the next morning, surrounded by the aftermath of last night’s gathering.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” she says. “The real story—not whatever yarn Luca and Lavinia were spinning last night.”
“I might cry,” I warn her.
“Then you’ll cry.”
As we eat, I tell her about the summer—the good with all the misery.
“I wasn’t ready to fall for him,” I say, adding another damp tissue to my pile.
She hums. “It sounds like he wasn’t ready to fall for you, either. But maybe the story isn’t over yet.”
Mom laughs at the surprise on my face.
“What, can’t a sixty-year-old divorcée believe in romance?”
“Is that what you’re looking for out west? Love?”
“I’m looking for a new beginning. It’s not easy being alone after all these years. To go from having a big family under one roof to just me…well, I didn’t like it. If I could have kept you all at home with me, I would have.”
I blink at her. “Really? You always seemed so stressed.”
She laughs. “I was! But I felt like I had a purpose. I felt needed. Nothing made me happier than when we were all together. The Christmas mornings. The dinners when your dad was home early enough to eat with us. Those vacations. Remember Florida?”
“The twins weren’t even potty-trained yet.” They screamed the entire plane ride, and threw a tantrum at every shop, every restaurant.
My mom smiles at the memory. “You and Heather became a little duo that trip.”
My parents had rented a house with a pool, and she and Ispent a lot of time underwater, escaping their noise, thumbing through magazines on lounge chairs when they napped. Heather let me borrow her lip gloss. I was elated that my big sister had deemed me cool enough to hang out with.
“I was happy back then,” my mom says. “It was madness, Alice. But it was a beautiful madness.” She sighs. “But this city makes me feel caught in the past. I need some time away to get unstuck. To discover who I am when I’m not a mother or a wife. It won’t be forever.”
“Good,” I tell her. “I still need you. I can’t believe you all showed up like that. I can’t believe you flew across the country for me.”
“Really?” She tilts her head. “You know, you were such an independent child. I was so busy with the twins and putting out Heather’s fires, and when I think back, I know I missed when you needed extra support.” She reaches across the table and puts her hand on mine. “I see the incredible woman you’ve become, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need help. I’ll always be here for you, Alice. I will always show up for my daughter.”
“Okay,” I whisper, my throat thick. I didn’t know how much I needed her to say it.
She squeezes my hand and then straightens. “You work so much, and I know you like your space. I try not to bother you. The last thing I want is to be a burden to my children.”
I study my mom. I didn’t know she felt that way—the way I have for so long, allergic to being an imposition. We text more than we talk these days. I thought it was because she was busy with her new life out west, not because she thought I was busy with mine.
“You’re never a burden, Mom,” I say. “You can ask us to show up, too. You can always call me.”
