The moment of silence after that makes me want to curl up and hide beneath one of the desks. I still feel the phantom of Wyatt’s would-be kiss on my lips. Why couldn’t Zhu have walked in ten seconds later?
Only that would have beenwayworse, so. Maybe my hormonal fantasies can take a little break.
“I was about to head out,” I venture at last, because Ava andWyatt are having some kind of silent conversation next to me, carried out in nothing but eyebrow raises and head tilts. “Um. I’ll see you in class next week, Dr. Zhu. And…um. Thank you, Wyatt. Professor Cole.”
“Wyatt,” he says.
“Wyatt.”
I can’t look Zhu in the eye as I slip past her out the door, but I can feel her watching me.
And I can tell that she knows.
19
WYATT
“What wasthat?” Ava says with a raised brow as soon as Ely has vanished down the hall, the far door having opened and firmly shut behind her.
“It’s not what it looked like,” I plead. “Ava. Nothing’s going on. Or I mean—well, obviouslysomethingis. But we have it under control. It won’t interfere with her work.”
I’m so stupid they should name some kind of satirical prize in my honor. If the whole plan is to hold my weaker instincts at bay and behave like a mentor for the next month or so, I’m doing a really shitty job of it.
One more month, Wyatt.Onemore month, and we could have done whatever we wanted, and here I am with no self-control.
Being unable to restrain myself is up there with my most loathed personality flaws of all time.
Losing control never got me anywhere good. I mean, it got me into a couple overdoses. It got me to do things for drug money that I still hate myself for.
Losing control turned my father into a monster.
I’ve built a whole life out of getting that control back and never, not once, ever, giving an inch.
Until, apparently, now.
“Wyatt,” she starts, but this is already so humiliating I want to die, so.
“Please don’t,” I say, holding up a hand before she can finish. “Seriously. I want to hide in a cave right now. Please just let me go hide in that cave.”
She’s silent for long enough that I dare to steal another glance at her face. She’s got a little quirk to the corner of her mouth, half a smile, and I have no idea how to interpret that.
“Stop whatever look that is you’re trying to give me.”
“I’m not trying to give you anything. Anyway, I think you said something about a cave you had to go hide in?”
This time I don’t let myself mess up my exit. I’m out of there before she can change her mind.
I dig my phone out of my pocket as I head for my office and tap over to the messaging app. Ely’s third on the list of most recent texts, behind Marcus and Ava but above the Uber Eats guy.
Me:I’m sorry about that
Ely:Oh don’t you start
Me:Start what?
Ely:Start pretending like you didn’t want to kiss me back there!
Me:I wasn’t going to say that.
