I count to ten before opening the door so it’s not completely obvious I’ve been standing here, hovering and waiting. “Hi.”
For a moment, he says nothing. He wears black jeans and a black T-shirt under a baggy charcoal sweater. His face is scruffier than normal, and his left eye has a shadow of a black eye. His collar reveals just the edge of a fading bruise.
“Thanks for coming,” I say simply to break the silence.
He takes a deep breath and nods to himself, like he needs the self-assurance. His eyes look everywhere except at me.
My stomach clenches into a fist. This doesn’t feel like the reunion I was hoping for. Not at all.
“Hey. I’m glad you texted. And um, thank you again for coming up to the hospital last week. I know it—”
“Of course.”
He hands me a manila envelope that I hadn’t realized he was holding until just now.
I take it hesitantly and begin to pull the papers out when I see a header that reads: The Law Offices of Bailey & Parsons.
I’ve never had a punctured lung, but I wonder if this is what it feels like. Almost as if air is leaking from your body at a rapid rate, but you’re not able to replace it with oxygen. Slowly, I look up and finally—finally—he is looking right at me.
His face is colorless, and I realize he’s given me just what I asked for.
“They’re signed,” he says quietly, taking a step closer as a cluster of boisterous students pass behind him. “So you can look them over if you want. I can send them in or you can if you’d rather do it for yourself.”
I’m shaking my head and the only word I can manage is: “Why?”
“Why am I divorcing you?” He swallows, his Adam’s apple working. “Because there isn’t anything I wouldn’t give you. I meant what I said. I love you, Clover. It fucking hurts.” He pushes a hand through his overgrown hair. “Shit. It terrifies me to think of a life without you. The only thing that scares me more is making you stay and never knowing if it’s because you wanted to or because you felt you had to.”
He pauses to give me a moment to form a response, but I’m just—I’m gutted. But I’m touched too. It’s tragic, really.
He did this for me. He gave me what I thought we needed even if it was the last thing he wanted.
“That’s why I couldn’t get here sooner. I had to wait for the paperwork to come in and I know you don’t care about the money, but there’s—just please. Let me have this one thing, okay? Let meknow that you’re going to get through school without having to work two jobs and constantly stress about the next bill. I need—”
“Come in,” I blurt. “Please just come inside.”
I stand back and hold the door open for him and he sees my not-so-grand gesture. No, it’s quiet and it’s private and it’s just for us.
“What is this?” He looks from me to the couple of candles burning on his side table that I brought from home. I spread a fleece blanket out across our bed and there on a paper plate are two grilled cheese sandwiches on a tray I borrowed from Briar that I am almost positive she stole from the dining hall. Beside it is a small jar with a handful of flowers I yanked out of the landscaped flowerbed next to the Haystack Hall sign.
“Don’t laugh, okay?” I toss the folder on the bed and then take the rings out of my pocket before falling to one knee. When I look up to him, a nervous laugh bubbles up. “God, you’re even taller from down here.”
His eyes are wide as he sinks to his knees in front of me.
“What are you doing? No! This ismygrand gesture.”
Bennett cradles my face in his hands and pulls me to him so we’re just a few breaths apart.
“Will you marry me, Bennett Andrew Graves?” I ask for the second time in my life. “Well, really,staymarried to me. Will you stay married to me?”
“No open flames!” a voice barks from the hallway.
We both turn to catch Dylan as he walks past.
“If I see those candles again, I will confiscate them,” he says in an almost delighted voice.
“That guy is the worst,” Bennett says.
“I heard that,” Dylan yells.
