Julian motions to his purposefully tattered and cropped black hoodie and sweatpants. “It’s Balenciaga.” Tex mumbles something about consumerism, but Julian just smiles like he’s being flirted with. “And that’s not the only reason. I’m also looking for a muscle mommy or daddy to take me home and toss me around a little.”
“Any luck?” I ask.
“No, but I’ve heard that the women’s lacrosse team had a leak in their workout facility, so I’m hopeful that they’ll end up here in the peasant gym. Did Clover throw herself at you for nursing her back to health?”
“That’s not why I did it,” I tell him, my tone defensive.
As he watches us in the mirror, Tex starts in on his bicep curls.When we first met him last fall, the guy was borderline scrawny. Over the last year, though, Tex bulked up and he went from shy and awkward to strong and certain. “She feeling any better?”
“Yeah, she seems to be back to herself this morning.”
Tex and Julian share a look in the mirror.
“What?” I’m not enjoying their whole silent-communication thing.
“You just seemed very worried for her is all,” says Julian.
“Of course I was.”
Tex nods slowly.
I pull the handle toward me with a grunt. “What are you two trying to say?”
Julian shrugs. “Well, based on our observations, you’ve been celibate since you two got married—”
“That’s just being respectful.”
“So, the marriage is fake, but the infidelity would be real?” Tex asks, getting right to the point.
I shrug because if I open my mouth, I’ll say something ridiculous, like that our marriage is far from fake to me.
The two of them share another look and Tex gives a short nod.
“Our official diagnosis is that you have a crush on your wife,” Julian informs me.
“You’re down bad, son,” Tex confirms.
My silence lasts for a minute too long, but it’s all the confirmation they need, and fuck it, they’re right.
Julian’s eyes go wide. “You two aren’t playing house anymore, are you? This ish is the real deal!”
I shake my head, but I know I’ve been caught. “I don’t hate waking up to her every morning, okay? And she said I have a cute butt. But it doesn’t matter. Even if she does want me, she could neverforgive me. Every time we fight or every time she looks at someone else, I’ll wonder if she’s thinking about what a piece of shit I really am.” I look to Tex, and then to Julian.
“I might have filled dear Tex in on the whole catfishing debacle,” Julian tells me. “Sorry.”
“No, I think I’d rather you did. Better than reliving it myself.”
Tex drops his weights into the rack and turns around. “I know you’re not that guy anymore, man, but damn, I can’t blame her for holding on to that kind of damage.”
I yank the rowing bar so hard the whole machine rattles. “Thanks.” I definitely do not mean it.
“She might surprise you, though,” he continues.
Not in my fucking dreams. Even if Clover could ever forgive me, I could never bring myself to accept. I don’t deserve that. “Doubtful,” I say. “We’ll sign the divorce papers after finals. That’ll give her enough time to get her housing situation figured out, and then she’ll find some other guy who didn’t totally fuck her over.”
“I did see her walking out of the art building with Tate the other day,” Julian says quietly, almost like he’s admitting it against his will.
“Yeah, I saw her at a party with him earlier in the semester.”
