Please say you’re not texting back because you’re reaping those marital benefits.
You owe me, btw. The level of bland small talk I was subjected to likely caused a brain tumor. The minute you left Lacey decided that you were the only interesting person at this thing and she’s been watching herself in the reverse camera of her phone for 30 min
Tex went home with a 34 year old mommy
TEX
Lindsay is not a mother.
JULIAN
A mommy is different from a mother
TEX
We’re just laying in bed talking
JULIAN
is talking code for something else?
Tex?
!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry for disappearing, I type. The time stamp on the last message was twenty minutes ago.
BENNETT
Clover wasn’t feeling well
JULIAN
It’s fine. Except they had a 2 drink max at dinner. Do you know how many people asked me what I was majoring in?
BENNETT
Do YOU even know what you’re majoring in?
JULIAN
I just declared my major actually. Early childhood ed
BENNETT
Wasn’t that girl you were talking to last Friday doing a teaching practicum at the elementary school?
JULIAN
I was inspired.
TEX
Inspired by the two days he spent with his head between her legs.
JULIAN
As the only living queer person in the Graves family tree, it’s my duty to uphold the stereotype of slutty bisexual.
