Teddy set his baby shower present on the foyer table of Addison’s Sherman Oaks mansion and dithered for a moment. He could hear laughter and chattering from the living room, where most of the baby shower festivities were taking place, and he knew he should join them... but what ifStephwere in there?
What if she were in there, and once again, Teddy had to figure out how to say hello after several awkward months apart? Could his crusty old heart handle going through all that again?
Before he could decide one way or another, he heard a massivethumpat the front door, and since he was the only one in the foyer, it fell to him to investigate.
He opened the door to see Sunny Palmer balancing four boxes of diapers in her arms, and he only barely caught the top box as it toppled from the stack.
“Do you think you brought enough diapers?” Teddy asked mildly as she shuffled inside and finally managed to deposit her payload onto the floor.
“Teddy, you ignorant slut,” Sunny panted as she used the toe of her platformed Mary Jane shoe to kick a diaper box closer to the wall. “This is only the beginning.”
Teddy didn’t even have a chance to saybeginning of whatbefore a line of jumpsuited men came into view of the front door, each one wheeling a dolly piled high with boxes of diapers, in every size from newborn to pull-up. He held the door open, speechless, as they rolled in one by one and lined the hallway with boxes until it looked like a trench from World War Diaper.
After three trips, Sunny briskly thanked the men and they left, going back to whatever diaper freight train they’d come from.
“Are all of these diapers from you?” Teddy asked. “Where did you even get all these?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Sunny said, taking off her jacket and scarf and hanging them on a Wishes of Addison coat-tree. (Only $129.99 on QVC.com.)
Teddy stared at what had to be tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of diapers. “Don’t worry about it?”
“I don’t ask how you’re paying for dinner,” answered Sunny.“Come on, or they’re going to eat all of Bee’s pimento cheese dip without us.”
And there was very little Teddy could say to that, because he did really like Bee’s pimento cheese dip.
Once inside the living room, Teddy was both relieved and miserable to see that Steph wasn’t there.
It wasn’t that he expected Steph to be as delusionally obsessed with him as he was with her. It would just be nice to know if she evenlikedhim, that was all.
The first two times they’d hooked up, he understood the ghosting afterward, because they could have been any old hookups born of convenience. But they’d spent a week together in Christmas Notch during theSanta, Babyreshoots, barely leaving the hotel room, subsisting only on sex and room service, and it had been like something from a dream. Lazy conversations, delightfully bad TV. Cuddles while a breeze blew sweet-smelling air into the room and they both ignored their phones.
Maybe Teddy was getting old, or maybe he’d always been a little old-fashioned, but surely leaving without a word after all that wasn’t a cool thing to do?
Ah, unrequited love. The drug that hit the hardest, even in one’s late forties.
Not that Winnie and Kallum would know anything about it. They sat squashed together on the sofa, a little baby burrito nestled in the crook of Kallum’s arm while Winnie opened presents. Bee had told him that Winnie had moved into Kallum’s apartment this fall, and that they were looking for a house in LA together. Mostly to accommodate Winnie’s upcoming production schedule—she was slated for another Hope After Darkmovie in the coming year and for a new, edgy sitcom about single mothers trying to date—but also for ease of filming Kallum’s new reality show,Kallum by the Slice. From the fond way Bee and Sunny talked about the two of them, Teddy got the sense that no matter how unconventional Kallum and Winnie’s start had been, their future was brighter than a fire in a pizza oven. Plus there was that engagement ring winking on Winnie’s finger that Teddy was pretty sure was new...
“I didn’t think the baby in question usually came to the baby shower,” Teddy remarked as he sat down on a chair behind Addison, and she spun around and glared at him.
“Excuse you, this is asip-and-see.”
“What?”
“You sip,” said Addison, gesturing at the mocktails and cocktails bar set up against the far window and clearly very irritated at having to explain something so basic. “And then yousee. Youseethe baby. It’s in the name.”
“Plus we knew it would be easier to get everyone in one place in December,” Bee said. “Not counting Kallum’s family, who are on a Hanukkah cruise right now. So it was the best time for a shower—”
“Sip-and-see!” Addison interjected.
“—and it just so happens that we can all snuggle little Grace while we’re here.”
Winnie stood up, a ginger quality to her movements, which made him wonder if she’d had a C-section. She took Grace from Kallum and then threaded her way through piles of onesies and burp cloths to Teddy.
“Would you like to hold her?” Winnie asked. “We sort of see her as your movie goddaughter, you know. Because she wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you andSanta, Baby.”
Teddy’s chin hurt because it was quivering so hard below his mustache, and he knew everyone could see how many times he had to swallow before he could speak. “I’d love to hold my movie goddaughter,” he told Winnie gruffly and accepted the blue-swaddled baby burrito into his arms.
Grace for her part didn’t seem to mind the handoff, since she was fast asleep. As Teddy settled her against his chest, she turned her head a little, as if searching for breastmilk even while unconscious, but then immediately turned back into an inert, snoozing lump again.
