Relief flooded through me.
Me:That’s great, Mads. I’m shooting all afternoon, but I’ll call tonight to check in.
I put my phone inside my jacket, suddenly feeling so light I might float away. I didn’t feel burdened by Mads and Mom needing my help while I was gone, but I also couldn’t fuck up this opportunity by looking like a dickhole who cared more about answering his phone than filming his scenes. How ironic would it be if I ruined my only shot at taking care of my family... by taking care of my family?
Ugh.
But thatwasn’tgoing to happen today, because Mom’s insurance issue was all taken care of, Mads was consigned to an afternoon of Christmas bargain hunting, and I was going toact the hell out of my scenes today. And then I’d call Maddie and finally call Isaac, and so I’d be a good brother and a good former bandmate to boot.
If I wasn’t missing Christmas—and also missing the taste of Bianca von Honey’s mouth—then life would be perfect right now.
There was a bounce to my step as I walked over to Bianca herself, who was currently walking in small circles, her fists clenching and unclenching as Luca hovered around her, trying to fuss with the bonnet tied under her chin. She was wearing a light blue gown and a crimson cape, and her face was framed by locks of hair hanging in big, pretty curls. More Pinterest researched than period accurate, but she looked absolutely stunning.
“Where did Denisego wrongwith these front curls?” Luca asked, like a history professor about to deliver a lecture on a failed invasion of Rome.
“She was distracted,” Bee said, sounding plenty distracted herself at the moment. “Maya was talking her ear off about cat breeding because she was waiting on a call about a boyfriend for her cat. A catchelor, you know.”
Luca gave up trying to fix her hair under the bonnet and sighed. “If you don’t stop moving, I can’t un–Jane Austen you.”
“Hey,” I said, approaching and taking her hands. I dropped them when I saw Luca looking at us. “Everything okay?”
Bee glanced up at me. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold and her face was shadowed by the bonnet’s brim. “It’s not okay,” she said fiercely. “I hate horses, I hate them, I hate them—”
“Aw, but horses have always spoken so fondly of you,” I said.
She gave me the dirtiest look I’d ever seen, and I’d once sat between Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow at Rihanna’sDiamond Ball. “This isn’t funny, Nolan,” she said. “I’m going to get on that horse, and it’s going to throw me into the snow and then it’s going to prance on my body until I pop like a grape and then I won’t even be able to say I told you so because I’ll be dead. Dead as a popped grape.”
“It’s going to be safe, I promise,” I soothed. “No deaths, no grapes. I’m going to be right here with you, okay? The whole time.”
She blinked those bright, vulnerable eyes at me, and everything inside my chest turned to warm, squishy putty.
“You mean it?” she asked.
I pressed my palm to her jaw. Luca be damned, any nearby crew be damned, I couldn’t be near her while she was unhappy and not need to make it better. “I mean it,” I swore. I brushed a cool cheek with my thumb. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
She sucked in a breath, her eyes searching mine, and in that moment, it felt like it was just the two of us, alone in the entire world. “I think I believe you,” she whispered.
“AH. HEM,” a put-upon voice interjected. “I’m not sure what is happening here, but this seems less than strictly equine-related.”
Bee and I jumped apart, clearing throats and shuffling our feet. Luca stared distrustfully at us both.
“Let’s go ride some horses,” I said with fake enthusiasm, and with a weak smile, Bee took my arm and allowed me to escort her away from Luca and to where the rest of the crew was getting ready.
Chapter Sixteen
Bee
Anxiety coiled in my chest as we approached Whitneigh Houston and her trainer, Tabitha, a fine and nice woman, except she barked out a dry laugh when I admitted my fear of horses during our training session earlier this morning. I thought she assumed I was being sarcastic, and I couldn’t blame her, because what normal adult was scared of horses? They’re like the animal kingdom’s big derpy version of Fabio.
I inhaled deeply and then let my breath out slowly and shakily. Big derpy Fabio. Big derpy Fabio.
And then there was Nolan at my side. He felt like the sun—his touch was enough to spread warmth and calm. But he wouldn’t be there next to me while I sat on big derpy Fabio. He’d be on his own big derpy monster.
“You ready?” Nolan asked in a whisper that made me feel like it was only me and him snuggled up under the covers all over again.
I nodded wordlessly. I felt like I could barf, and if I was going to barf at least it should be in an attempt to say my lines.
I glanced all around the snowy valley. Pearl and Teddy sat lined up in the video village, where they could easily watch the playback. Gretchen watched with her arms over her chest and her incisor tugging on her lower lip. Teddy smiled under his walrus-like mustache—or maybe it was a grimace. I couldn’t be sure. Even though him being on set meant Nolan and I would definitely have to turn the heat down to zero, he was a familiar source of peace in all his mismatched clothes, seasonally inappropriate shoes, and grumpy demeanor.
