“Should someone tell them that’s not how sleep works?” asked Nolan.
I sighed. “I don’t think it would matter.”
“Do I want to know what the North Pole is?” he asked.
“Would you believe me if I told you it’s a Christmas-themed strip club?”
His brow furrowed as his lips fell into a soft, delighted O.
My phone began to vibrate in my hand, tearing me away from Nolan’s amused expression, as a picture of Jack Hart at his bachelor party in very tiny underwear with whipped cream on his nipples lit up my screen. “Uh, I’ve gotta take this,” I said quickly.
“Good night. See you in a few hours,” Nolan called after me as I pulled my coat tight around me and stepped out from the protection of the carport.
I swiped to accept the call and immediately Jack’s stunned face greeted me with volume on high as he asked, “Is there a reason you’re in Buttfuck, Vermont, and not sitting on my dick later this week as previously discussed?”
I held my finger to my lips, shushing him, and looked over my shoulder, hoping that Nolan had already gone inside. “Can you not?”
I turned down the volume as low as it would go without muting it entirely. Not only was Jack loud, but the snow made everything else painfully quiet.
“How aboutyounot?” he asked.
I loved Jack and that was something not everyone could say, but even I could admit that Jack was a real bitch at times. I couldn’t blame him entirely. He was one of the few male performers out there who truly did queer and hetero porn. You would expect that an industry built on people filming themselves having sex would be pretty open and accepting, but when it came to men in porn, there was very little stream crossing. Jack’s now ex-husband, Levi Banks, was the king of male/male porn. His website, The Cockery, was so popular, there were once rumors of several mainstream streaming services attempting to purchase it.
To say they were a complicated pair was an understatement.
“I know it’s bad timing,” I told him, “and I swear I’ll make it up to you when I’m back in town, but I’m here working on a thing for Teddy.”
That silenced him for a moment as he digested this new piece of information. “Teddy Ray Fletcher? Teddy sent you to Vermont to film a porn? Teddy doesn’t even take his own kids on vacation.”
“Not true,” I said, coming to Teddy’s defense. “He took Angel and Astrid on that cruise last summer. Teddy got food poisoning, Angel broke the lifeguard’s heart, and Astrid won first place in the karaoke competition.”
“Cruises don’t count as vacation. It’s like camp, but on a boat with people you don’t know or like, and the food is just as bad,” Jack said emphatically. “Anyway, why would Teddy take you to Vermont? Do people in Vermont even watch porn? Don’t answer that.”
“I mean, everyone watches porn,” I said with a shrug. “And it’s not a porn . . . it’s a thing. It’s a thing I can’t talk about, and I wouldn’t have bailed on you if it wasn’t important.”
He thought for a moment, before shaking his head. “You have to come back. You have to come back this week. Don’t you get a day off from your secret Vermont not-porn thing?”
“Next month,” I told him again. “I promise.”
“No one will let me fuck them,” he blurted. “And by next month I’ll be fifty in porn years and completely irrelevant.”
“Well, you’re not everyone’s cup of tea,” I said weakly. There were the gay guys who didn’t want to work with a guy who also fucked women and then there were the women who didn’t want to fuck a queer guy and then there were the people who just didn’t fuck Jack Hart, because like I said, Jack Hart could be a bitch. So even though he had a loyal fan base, the list of Jack’s potential scene partners was dwindling.
“It’s not that,” he said. “It’s Levi. He’s blackballing me. He’s putting in calls to everyone, Bee. Performers. Studios. Producers. Directors. Anyone who will listen, which is actually a whole ton of people. If I don’t get some new work under my belt post-divorce, I’m going to be persona non grata faster than you can say Berlin gloryhole.”
“I’ll try to see if I can find anyone to take my place,” I offered. “How about—”
“Don’t you dare say Sunny,” he said. “Do not even speak her name.”
“I guess you’re still upset about the incident with your mom.”
“Don’t. Even. Bring. It. Up,” he said through gritted teeth.
It wasn’t Sunny’s fault she took home a stunning silver vixen at Jack’s wedding and that it just so happened to be the mother of one of the grooms.
“Bee, I don’t know what the hell you’re doing out there for Teddy, but if you screw me over, I will take you down with me. You know I will.”
And then he disappeared, ending the call before I could say another word.
