As I’m balancing my gift in one hand and the cake in the other, Bart squeezes past me through the doorway, nodding a silent hello.
“He’s going fishing,” says Agnes as she relieves me of the cake. “Can’t get out of here fast enough.” She tsks.
I glance around, searching for the face I know I’m bound to see.
Freddie and I have really only seen each other at school over the last few weeks. I’ve only been by for breakfast and swimming a few times lately. My weekends have been consumed with work and helping Hattie out around the house, and to be honest, my body is too wiped for much else.
It’s easier this way. I know the end of the school year is fast approaching and that soon Freddie will leave. Everything that’s happened over the last few weeks has only served to remind me how different we are. I am so thankful to fate or God or whatever it is that’s pulling the strings on this puppet show and that our lives have run parallel to each other for the last few months. But life is about to takeus in two totally different directions.
Still, the thought of seeing him outside school has my stomach twisted into a ball of knots. “And Freddie?” I ask Agnes. “Is he around?”
“Oh yeah,” she says. “Said he wouldn’t miss it. I think he’s in the shower at the moment. He’s gonna help us in the kitchen. Keep people fed.”
Agnes takes my gift for Hattie and the baby and glances down at my bright-purple dress and my green polka-dot tights. “You look absolutely adorable, my dear.” She hands me a stack of throws and dish towels. “Now, do me a favor and put these in the hallway linen closet for me before anyone gets here.”
“Yes, ma’am.” The hallway is warm with steam and immediately reminds me of the last time I was this deep into Agnes’s house. As I’m shoving the pile of blankets and towels into the closet, the bathroom door swings open, and all the pent-up steam curls right out into the hallway.
Freddie sticks his head out the door and grins when he sees me. He wears a towel slung low around his hips and holds it tight with one hand as he pulls me into the bathroom with the other.
The cramped quarters of the hallway bathroom don’t leave much room for either of us to situate ourselves, so when Freddie shuts the door behind me, I slide up onto the counter and am practically sitting in the sink. It’s the most privacy we’ve had in weeks.
“I feel like I’ve barely had you to myself lately,” he says. “You haven’t even been by for breakfast lately. Orswimming. You’re not gonna beat me again if you don’t stay in practice.”
I inhale deeply and let myself memorize the smell of warm soap and fogging mirrors. “You know it’s been crazy with Hattie and work.” My legs spread a little as he comes to stand closer to me and presses his palms to my knees. He kisses me lightly on the lips and then down my neck before pulling back at the sound of Agnes slamming a cabinet door in the kitchen.
He groans. “I wish we had more time.”
“And a little more privacy,” I add. I know he’s referring to immediate time, but it’s hard not to think about the thing neither of us has talked about—the elephant in the room. Graduation. Not to mention both of our great track records with long-distance relationships.
Still, I don’t realize how much I’ve missed him until I’m right here with him. I force every doubt about the future out of my head.
My hair curls around my face from the humidity, but I don’t care. Gently I tip my head forward and let my forehead rest there against his bare chest. My breathing is a little shallow from the damp air, but if I just don’t move, I’m fine.
And that’s what I wish, that after all these weeks of nonstop motion with double duties at Boucher’s and my early-morning paper route, I can stand still for a moment. Here with Freddie seems like a good place to rest. To just breathe.
“You okay?” he asks. “I know it hasn’t been easy these last few weeks.”
I nod. “I will be or I am. I’m okay. Hattie’s okay.”
He spreads little kisses down the part in my blue hair. “That lady at the Y. Prudence, right? She’s been asking for you.”
“Yeah.” I sigh. “I need to let her know I appreciate the offer.”
He leans back, forcing me to pick my head up. “And that you’re going to take her up on it, right?”
I shake my head. Not today. “I can’t have this conversation with you right now.”
“Ramona, come on.”
I shake my head again. Quick anger boils up in my chest. “I don’t know how it is that you can’t see how different our lives are. I can’t leave. I have responsibilities.”
“Hattie can take care of herself. She has your dad, too.”
I pull back from him. “Really? You think my pregnant sister who’s on bed rest can take care of herself? And you think my dad who’s scraping by as it is will magically be in the position to help her? Wow. You must know something about my life that I don’t.”
“All right,” he says, in his calm voice. “Chill out. I didn’t mean it like that. I know things are hard for you.”
I nod sarcastically. “Do what you always do. Defuse the situation. Make me feel ridiculous for even being upset.”
