“Well, thanks for ruining that for me.”
“Now,” says Nurse Pearce. “Repeat after me: five-one-one.”
The entire class does as she says.
She holds up five fingers. “Contractions five minutes apart lasting one minute long for at least one hour. That’s when it’s time to call the doctor.”
I commit it to memory. Five-one-one.
As Nurse Pearce circles the room, discussing breathing techniques with individual couples, Hattie says, “I think I want a Mardi Gras–themed shower.”
“Okay?”
“That was a hint.”
“Right.” I nod. Oh God. I don’t even know where to begin. “Well, I mean I was already working on your shower,” I lie. “But, ya know, it’s supposed to be a secret and all.”
She laughs dryly. “Liar.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“Maybe Mom will help you.”
“Yeah,” I say. “Not gonna happen.”
“You know all that anger takes a lot of energy.”
“You don’t like her either,” I remind her.
“No,” she says, “but I love her.” She rubs her belly. “Ruthie and Saul will help you.”
“This is going to be the gayest baby shower of all time,” I tell her.
“Perfect.”
Later that afternoon, Freddie picks me up in Agnes’s Cadillac. He gets one free car wash at work every week, so Agnes has taken advantage of that.
“Thanks for coming with me,” Freddie says as the car rolls over the rocky terrain of the trailer park.
“Well, it was either this or homework,” I tell him.
As he turns onto the street, he holds out a hand for me to take. I realize I’ve never held someone’s hand in the car like this. A small, minuscule thing that somehow makes me feel like we’re an actual couple.
As we pull up to Scrub-a-Dub, Adam points us to the entrance like he’s directing an airplane on a runway.
Freddie rolls down the window. “Son, I need to speak to your manager.”
“I run this bitch!” shouts Adam.
Cindy, Adam’s mom, swings open the door to the office and gives Adam a Look with a capitalL.
“I have an itch,” he shouts.
“Nice cover!” I call.
He nods and gives us the thumbs-up.
The car wash is the kind where you don’t get out of your vehicle, so Freddie directs the car onto the tracks as an attendant sprays down the grille and the windshield.
