“I doubt it even still exists.” Her mouth was dry and she could barely speak. “It was a long time ago. It will have been knocked down and replaced by a new build.”
“You could come over for a visit while I’m there.”
A visit?
She’d left it all behind. Stepped out of her old life and into the new. She hadn’t looked back, and the only reason she was looking back now was because it was no longer possible to ignore it.
“My summer schedule is already planned.”
It was true, and she had no regrets about that. But even if it hadn’t been true, she would not be going back.
There was nothing left for her there and no part of her past that she wished to revisit.
4
Evie
Evie slotted her headphones into her ears, selected her favourite playlist and headed off along the coast path. It wound along the top of steep cliffs, undulating gently for a long section before plunging steeply into a tiny cove and rising up again on the other side.
She ran easily, long-limbed and relaxed, her strides eating up the ground. Her head was throbbing and her brain was circling around all the problems she was facing and the decisions she had to make.
But she wasn’t going to think about those now. She was going to take a moment to herself and hope that fresh air and exercise would both improve her mood and clear her head.
She’d discovered long ago that running was the best way to blow off steam after a stressful day. It was impossible to feel tension when your feet were pounding the path, the breeze was blowing in your face and the ocean stretched far into thedistance. She preferred to run alone, just her and the rhythmic pounding of the soundtrack she’d chosen.
Far below, the sea sparkled. Those same foamy white waves that in winter could lash the rocks with terrifying force seemed almost benign today, lapping the coastline gently.
The evening sun warmed her face and beneath her feet the ground was firm. They’d had so much rain during the winter she’d had to run on roads but now the weather was heating up she spent every spare minute on the coast path or the beach itself.
She ran quickly up the steep section, her lungs screaming for air as she pushed herself. At the top she paused to catch her breath and the moment she stopped moving the thoughts rushed back at her again.
Now that she’d pressed Send on her application she felt guilty, as if she was somehow abandoning everyone.
Maybe the hotel wasn’t going to be sold, but there was no escaping the fact that it was in trouble. Something had to change.
She felt disloyal for even contemplating leaving. What if she left and then the worst actually happened?
All those jobs, she thought, rubbing her face with her hand. What would Donna do if the hotel closed? She needed not only the money, but also the warmth and support of her co-workers. Then there was Pat, who had lost her husband six months ago. She’d admitted to Evie on more than one occasion that it was coming to work that had kept her going.
And then there was her dad, who definitely didn’t want to retire yet. He was the longest-serving member of staff. He’d worked at the hotel for most of his working life. He loved the job and he was brilliant at it. Maybe another hotel would snap him up. But what if they didn’t? Plenty of people valued youth over experience.
These people had all been there for her since childhood andshe was going to abandon them instead of working to protect their jobs.
But what could she do, really? Her title was acting general manager, but all she was really managing was the mess Gerald had left. No one saw her as anything other than “our Evie.” Two weeks into the job once the full horror of what she was dealing with became clear, she’d sent everyone a memo outlining the changes she thought they should be making. She’d talked about the importance of great customer service, the impact of good reviews, the importance of trying to maximise revenue by upselling, whether it was upgrading rooms or spa treatments. She’d had loads of ideas that would have increased both occupancy and profits, but in the end none of them had been implemented. People carried on doing things the way they’d always done them when Gerald was running the show.
If she left and they appointed a new general manager, that person might actually be able to turn the place around. The staff might take seriously someone who had come in from the outside. They wouldn’t have to throw off decades of history. And that would be good. In the end she’d be saving their jobs by leaving.
She probably should have left long ago, but it had never felt like the right time. Family was important to her. Was that pathetic? Did it make her boring? Some people lived on the other side of the world and saw their family only occasionally in person and relied on video calls for connection. Evie couldn’t imagine that. She’d appreciated being able to spend so much time with her grandmother growing up. She’d been there for Evie, and later on as her grandmother had needed more help herself, Evie had been there for her. When she or her father had needed help there had been at least a dozen people they could call on. There was a saying that it takes a village to raise a child and sometimes she felt as if that summedup her childhood. She really had been raised by the village. She’d felt loved and safe and never lonely. She had connections with everyone here, and those connections were hard to break.
It was a community in the true sense of the word and Evie had never had the slightest urge to leave. Until now.
Lately she’d felt restless. A little trapped. She felt stifled in her job and unable to progress.
It was time to spread her wings.
She tried to justify it to herself but her head spun with pros and cons, doubts and uncertainty.
Did she really want to move away? She tried to imagine how it would feel not to look at this view or hear the sounds of the sea when she woke up in the morning. She screwed her eyes tightly shut and tried to picture London. Street noise, the rumble of trains, buildings fighting for limited space, expensive stores with glossy windows and intimidating staff whose make-up was always perfect. And people, people everywhere.
