“There is nothing grand about him, and he wasn’t much of a father either so no.” She shrugged. “I can’t think of him as my grandfather. Family is important, I’ve always believed that, but so is self-preservation.”
“From what you’ve told me there didn’t seem to be remorse. Denial, maybe. You don’t think your mother intends to stay in touch with him then?”
“No.” She was absolutely sure about that and once again she admired her mother’s strength.
He sat up and put his hand on her shoulder. “Do you want to go back? Take a shower and grab some dinner?”
If she did that the evening would be over and she didn’t want it to be over. She wanted to stay here, with him, staring out across the sea. She could happily have stayed like this for the rest of her life.
“No, I’m too wound up. My head is racing. And anyway, I like being by the ocean. I find it soothing.”
“You live by the ocean.”
“It’s not like this.” She sat up and looped her arms round her knees, gazing out across the sea as the setting sun sent orange and red streaks across the sky.
She felt his shoulder brush against hers and she turned to look at him.
“You don’t have to stay. I’m sure you have things to do. More important things than playing lifeguard.”
“That’s not why I’m here. And if you’re staying, I’m staying.”
I’m staying.
It could have been just kindness of course, but she knew it was more than that. And he knew it, too. She could see it in his eyes.
The strength of their attraction was something she hadn’t ever felt before. She was careful and thoughtful in her decision making but with him she wanted to abandon both care and thought.
She felt shaky and strange, unbalanced by all the revelations about her life. It all seemed unreal, but this—he—felt real.
“How was your day? I haven’t even asked.”
“It was less eventful than yours.” He wiped a droplet of water away from her face with the tip of his finger. “Fairly typical day. My dad went for physio which means he was cranky and needed someone to take it out on.”
“Ouch.”
“But despite that, he’s improving. He even admitted it.”
“That’s good. Does that mean he’ll eventually come back to work?”
“I don’t think so. He was aiming for that but today he almost admitted that he’s enjoying living life at a slower pace.”
“So what does that mean for you?”
“I guess it means I’ll be hanging around here for the foreseeable future,” he said. “How about you? Now that you’re no longer under-cover, does this mean you’re going back? You won’t be staying for the whole summer?”
There was a strange feeling inside her. That was another thing she hadn’t allowed herself to consider, but sooner or later she was going to have to.
“I assume so. My mother sent me here for a specific purpose and that’s no longer needed, so yes—I’ll be going back.”
There was a long pause.
“And how do you feel about that?”
It was a good question.
She felt as if she was balanced between two versions of her life. Until a few weeks ago she hadn’t even known there was another version. She hadn’t had the wit to imagine it, and yet here she was not only imagining it but living it.
She could go back, shewouldgo back, but that didn’t mean things would be the same. Things would never be the same. It was as if someone had cut her strings, the strings that had tethered her to the life she was living and now she was floating free.
