“You need an oven anyway, don’t you?”
I pulled the corners of my lips downward, pondering his words. “This is true.”
“So why not get the best one? Gabriella will be extra happy to come back, and you will have your oven.” Then he flashed me a ridiculously charming, full-mouthed smile with those oversize two front teeth typical of ten-year-olds, and bits of french fries clinging to his gums.
Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my onion rings. “Boy, you are something else.”
Next stop: McCloud’s. All the way there, I second-guessed myself as I worked the math in my head: my paycheck, the cost of the oven, the tax, delivery and installation. I could put it on my emergency credit card.
Is this an emergency?Not exactly. But I did need an oven, regardless. At least, that’s what Elijah said.
At McCloud’s, Celestia awaited us in all her stainless steel glory. Elijah and I stood in front of her again, taking in her beauty. She was even more attractive the second time around, with the bit of sunlight left in the sky streaming through the windows.
Joyce. It’s an oven. A box that heats up food, I told myself. But it was a lie, because Celestia was more than an oven. She was a shiny friend.
“Back already?” Leonna approached wearing a sneaky smile. She had us and she knew it.
“Yes. We’re going with the Celestia.”
“An excellent choice. Follow me.”
Elijah beamed like he’d just won the lottery, while my chest tightened with anxiety. Who in their right mind would pay so much for an oven? I wrestled with myself all the way to the checkout counter. In my training at the recreation center, Susan told me about how they decided which classes to offer every year. “We do market research to see what people sign up for so we don’t waste resources. We have to skim at least a little profit to pay the bills around here,” she’d told me.
So if Celestia’s manufacturer went through all the trouble of making the machine, I couldn’t have been the only person in the world purchasing it. People like me, people like Gabriella, people all over the world were buying Celestias, right?
Leonna smiled nervously as she walked me through the buying process, reassuring me that I was making a smart, elevated purchase. “I haveneverseen one of these returned to the store.”
What’s her commission, anyway?
Since the oven came with a solid warranty, I passed on thestore’s offer. We talked through delivery options next. Given my work schedule, I opted for a Friday-afternoon delivery. All this conversation led to the final numbers and me whipping out the credit card and inserting the chipped side into the reader.
I had a flashback of the first time Eric and I purchased a luxury vehicle. A BMW. I could hardly believe we were signing our names to the papers, about to spend the next four years of our lives paying a car note that was half the cost of our monthly mortgage. But Eric had insisted that with his new promotion came new lunch meetings and golf appointments, and he needed to look the part of a middle manager. “Live a little, Joyce.”
Signing the receipt for Celestia didn’t feel like living. It felt like smothering. I took deep breaths as wrote my name with the stylus on the tiny screen and clicked “OK.”
“We’re all settled, Miss Hicks,” Leonna chirped.
Hicks? Oh, yes. I am Hicks again.I’d gotten the new credit card using my maiden name. Which meant I was the only one responsible for this bill. Not Gabriella, not Elijah.What have I done?
“Thank you,” I squeaked as I took the foot-long receipt from her and rolled it into my wallet. Suddenly, the food from Sonic wasn’t setting so well in my stomach.
“The delivery team will give you a call Thursday to confirm the time. If you need anything between now and then, please don’t hesitate to give me a call. I work most weekdays from twelve to close.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“Grandma, we did it!” Elijah squealed.
“Yes. We sure did.”
The first thing I did when we got home was take two pinkantacid pills. Calmed my stomach. I had written a large check to the contractor when they worked on this house, but that was all in the name of profit. It made sense to turn Grandma Jewel’s house into a duplex, especially given the housing market. Folks were scrambling for affordable housing all over the country. I could make money and help somebody else at the same time if I invested in a remodel.
But an overpriced oven? In my circumstances?
My stomach rumbled again. I needed to stop worrying about Celestia before I made myself sick.
I gave Elijah permission to run out to play with his neighborhood friends before it got too dark, then I lay on the couch to practice more deep breathing and regulate my nervous system.Goodness gracious. To date, I had not experienced a panic attack, and I had no desire to.
I pulled myself off the couch and gave my body a big head-to-toe stretch. This oven, this house, my divorced status all fell under the “everything” umbrella. I needed to keep moving forward.
