“I meant every word,” Sean responded, not taking his eyes off mine. He lowered his voice and addressed me. “I know we haven’t had much time to reconnect, but I’ve always liked you. It was awkward, though, since I was so close to Jhavon. And the timing was off with the age difference back then.”
“Well, the timing isstilloff because right now, it should be all about Big,” Jazzy chided, cutting her eyes at me. “She’s fighting for her life while you’re making googly eyes at Sean.”
Her words stung. I folded my arms about me. “Are you accusing me of not caring about our grandmother?” I snapped at her.
Jazzy’s eyes flashed. She pointed at me, anger dripping through her tone. “Big is hooked up to machines, sleeping most of the day. She struggles to stay awake and to eat. That’s what should be at the forefront of your mind, not Sean,” she said, pointing his way. “So yes, it seems like you don’t care or you need to get your priorities straight.”
Sean butted in. “No, it sounds like you hatin’.”
Jazzy got right in his face. “What do I have to hate on? I don’t want your sorry behind.”
“Jazzy… Sean,” I called out in warning. Neither of them paid me any mind.
Sean continued the argument. “You’re jealous because Niya dares to love. Do you expect her to be with you forever? Like spinster sisters? You can’t imagine you’ll be inseparable, like Niya doesn’t want a life of her own.”
Jazzy gave a harsh intake of breath and her face crumbled.
I felt her pain like it was my own. I looked between the two people I cared about and shook my head. “Y’all need to stop,” I whispered.
“Besides Big, she’s all I got,” Jazzy’s voice wavered. “I can’t lose her the way I lost everybody in my family, including Jhavon.”
My sister’s words pierced my heart and I knew what I had to do. I ignored the guilt of my wanting to become a nurse and even daring to fall in love. I couldn’t bear to see my sister’s dejection. Never mind that Sean was talking some truths. I went on the defensive and rushed to my twin’s side.
I ignored Sean’s regretful expression and cleared my throat. “Sean, I didn’t say anything about love just yet. You have no right to interfere with me and Jazzy. We’ve been together sincebeforebirth. There is no separating us. She’s my best friend for life.”
Jazzy wiped the tears from her cheek and eyed Sean, daring him to utter another word. I took Jazzy’s hand in a show of solidarity, but I was also panicking on the inside. I was pushing Sean away for a second time. He might not come back for a third.
I breathed an internal sigh of relief when he didn’t walk out the door.
Sean shook his head and spoke to me in a gentle tone. “I’m not trying to come between the two of you. I just want you to open your heart and make room for me. Your heart can do that. God made it that way. You can have us both. You can have anything you want. And, I know you want more.”
I did want more. I wanted to tell him all about what I’d learn from the nurse. And I wanted to ask about the Bible that I’d taken to reading while waiting on news about Big. I felt the words threaten to bubble out.
However, once again, Jazzy chimed in before I could. “She don’tneedmore. Everything she needs is right here.”
“That’s right. Including me,” Sean said.
I massaged the back of my head. “You two are giving me a headache.”
Just then Big moaned, ending the argument. The three of us scurried to her side, the argument forgotten.
“Big? Big? Can you hear us?” I shouted.
“Quit all that noise,” she mumbled.
“What did you say, Big?” Jazzy asked, breathless.
“Big.” I squealed. “You’re awake.”
Sean gasped, giving God a loud praise. “God, You’re good. Thank you.”
“Y’all are making too much noise and I’m trying to sleep,” Big said with a loud yawn. We watched with bated breath as she battled to open her eyelids.
“You came back to us,” Jazzy said, covering her face. This time it was tears of relief that fell.
My eyes were full as I went to hug my sister. We rocked together. I was too overcome to speak.
“Big, it’s good to see you.” Sean’s face beamed. “Let me go get the nurse.” He rushed out of the room.
