11
Sean
“Lakesha, open up,” I said, banging on her door for the fourth time before pressing my ear against the wooden door. I could hear her moving about inside. “I’m not leaving until you open the door, so you might as well answer.”
The door opened with such force, I lost my footing and catapulted into her house with unsteady feet. I don’t know how I kept from falling, but I managed to regain my equilibrium by grabbing onto the edge of the small kitchen table. The plastic table cover shifted along with a huge vase of fresh flowers.
I hoped those weren’t from Willie.
“You did that on purpose,” I accused, pointing at Lakesha while fixing the table cover and re-centering the vase.
“I sure did,” Lakesha said, cutting her eyes. “That’s what you get for pounding on my door like you the police. What’s wrong with you?”
My chest heaved as I struggled to catch my breath, all the while looking out for the little man. “I came to check on RayRay.” My eyes swept the room, taking in the soiled curtains, dirty dishes, and a pot bubbling up on the stove. I wiped my face with the back of my hand. The air was muggy from whatever Lakesha was cooking and she didn’t have central AC.
She popped her gum. “He ain’t here.”
I lifted a brow and gestured for her to continue.
She sighed. “He next door playing with Rolanda’s son, Henry. I’ll be calling him in for lunch soon.”
I nodded, though I had no idea who Rolanda or Henry were. I was relieved RayRay wasn’t with Willie. I looked at my watch since the one Lakesha had by the kitchen table was stuck at 12:15. It was almost 11:30 a.m. and I had just finished getting a much needed haircut. I kept my hair low on my head and made Tyrone take off about two inches. Once I was done here, I needed to stop by the hospital before reporting in to work at 2:00 p.m. for a meeting.
I was pretty sure Niya wouldn’t want to see me. And I was half-afraid Jazzy might scratch out my eyes on sight. But I had to go back to the hospital to check on Big. For Jhavon. I owed it to him. However, I knew I had to come check on my son first. RayRay had to be a priority.
Lakesha jumped twice before reaching on top of the refrigerator to get the bag of hot dog buns.
“I could’ve gotten that for you,” I said.
“It’s all good,” she said, dismissing me. “I’ve been doing it myself for years without you.” She turned off the stove and the bubbles subsided, leaving the hot dog franks floating.
Lakesha made a point of reaching for a bag of potato chips, sealed with a huge paperclip, and prepared two plates. I bit my tongue to keep from pointing out that RayRay needed proper nutrition. I didn’t approve of their eating habits, but now wasn’t the time to open my mouth.
I prided myself on eating right—most of the time—breaking my regimen only when Big cooked. Anything Big cooked, I ate. I wondered if Niya knew how to cook, then decided it didn’t matter. I knew how to cook if she didn’t. With Pop, I had to learn or I wouldn’t eat.
“Why are you here?” Lakesha asked, brushing past me, annoyance evident in her tone. She moved the centerpiece to the coffee table in the adjacent living area and then placed the two plates on the table.
I squared my shoulders. “I want to be in RayRay’s life.”
“He has someone already.” She opened the front door and yelled, “RayRay, come on and get your lunch.”
I moved into her face to get her attention, then I emphasized, “I’m his father. He needs me.”
“He doesn’t need a father of convenience. He needs stability, not someone who will reject him one day and then try to claim him the next,” Lakesha snapped back.
I winced. “I’m sorry for the way I acted, but I’m ready. I’m ready to have a relationship with him. I deserve the chance to do that.” Even if I wasn’t ready, I had tomakemyself ready in order to keep RayRay from falling victim to Willie. I would never let something like that happen to any child, let alone my flesh and blood.
She sat in the chair and I stood where I was since she hadn’t invited me to sit. I didn’t mind. I could stand for hours without a problem. The military and my father had prepared me well. Pops used to make me stand on one leg for hours.
I would never do that to my son.
I heard a light tap on the door and drew in a deep breath.
Lakesha opened the door and told RayRay to wash his hands. The little boy strolled past me like I didn’t exist and walked down the main hallway. I gave Lakesha a look and cleared my throat, but all she did was open the refrigerator. It was clear she wasn’t about to call RayRay out to mind his manners and acknowledge me.
I welcomed the blast of cool air. Sadly, the reprieve lasted mere seconds as she grabbed a jug of ice tea and closed the door.
“You want something to drink?” she asked, tapping her leg.
