“Night, Niya,” he whispered, his baritone sounding even lower than normal.
“Good night, Sean.”
I went inside and breezed past Jazzy, who was waiting just inside the door.
“No kiss?” she fussed.
“No. It wasn’t like that,” I said, throwing the shoes off my feet. I couldn’t wait to get in bed and massage my hurting toes. I walked toward our room, but Jazzy stopped me with a firm grip on my shoulder.
“Well...what was it like?” she asked.
“We just had a good time together at the painting place.” I shrugged.
She placed a hand on her hip. “What did he say about Lakesha?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all.”
Jazzy rolled her eyes. “He sorry and youalmostas sorry as him. How come you didn’t ask Sean about his supposed-to-be son and his baby momma?”
I offered her my upturned palms. “I don’t know. I mean, I was painting. And having a good time. I didn’t want to bring it up.”
“Well, you needed to bring it up. You need to know if you need to watch your back with that girl and if he’s gonna be a deadbeat dad. That’s important. Big taught us that, remember?”
“Yeah. I do.” My sister was right. I couldn’t be with Sean if he wasn’t doing right by his kid. My father was far from perfect, but one thing Jazzy and I had that most of our friends didn’t, was a dad. He was one good memory from my childhood that I held dearly.
“Where’s Big?” I changed the subject.
“In bed. She tried to wait up for you.”
I asked, “You think she’s sleep?”
“I don’t know.”
I took six steps down the hallway and quietly twisted the doorknob.
“Come on in,” Big grunted.
I stepped inside her room. “I wanted to say good night is all.”
“Mmm hmm. How’d it go?” she asked.
“It was fine. Sean is nice.”
“I figured as much.”
I scrunched my nose. Big didn’t sound like herself. Her voice sounded kind of weak to me. I cocked my head, but Big started rambling and put my mind at ease.
“Yeah. He’s always been a good boy despite his ig-nut daddy, God rest his...well, I don’t know if that man’s soul is restin’ or not, come to think of it. But Sean, he’s all right in my book.”
I nodded, though I doubted she could see me in the darkness.
I played with my belt buckle for a moment, then stepped closer to her bed. “Big, what do you think about me going to college?”
“College ain’t for everybody,” she said. “And it ain’t cheap, either. That’s why most folks don’t go. You got to come from money to go to college, elsewise can’t nobody afford it.”
The college-bubble in my chest burst and flattened. Big was right. There was no way I could pay for college. No way in heaven or on earth. “Night, Big.”
“Mmm hmm.”
I stepped out of the room, softly closing the door behind me. I stood frozen, my mind running numbers in my head. Forty hours a week, $7.50 an hour. Eight if I was lucky.How much would I need?I could get two jobs. But how would I have time to go to class or study? Maybe I could go to school part-time.
I opened Big’s door again and asked, “How much does college cost anyway?” When Big didn’t answer, I repeated the question. “How much, Big?”
No answer again.There’s no way she fell asleep that fast.
I approached her bed, turning on the night light.
Her eyes were open but her gaze was fixed upward. “Big.” I shook her. No response. “Big. Big!”
