5
Niya
Istill had Sean’s text saved in my phone. I couldn’t delete it because...I don’t know...it was important. What if he never asked me to go out with him again after tonight? The saved text would be a memento. Proof that one day, a long time ago, somebody wanted to go somewhere with me.
True, guys at school had asked me out before but most of them just wanted one thing. I had no intentions of letting my first time happen with some guy who didn’t even know my last name or who couldn’t tell me apart from my sister.
Jazzy had felt the same way. But once we turned twenty, Jazzy crossed over with a dude named Fegan Parkerson. She had met him at the beauty supply store. He was new in town and claimed to be getting oil sheen for his “mother.” True to our generation, Fegan and Jazzy didn’t go out on any actual dates. They texted and met up to hook up. Three months after their trysts started, Jazzy learned his “mother” was his wife. Jazzy was so hurt by the incident that, after she slashed his tires, she vowed never to be so gullible again. She still had boyfriends here and there, but she didn’t allow herself to trust any man. Her heroes were found in the pages of her romance novels, not in real life.
The situation with Fegan put a double-edge to her already sharp demeanor. The only two things she trusted besides me were books and Big.
Most people in Lovetown probably thought me and Jazzy were stuck-up because we didn’t get around with men much. Or, in my case, at all. The ones who wanted more than a quick fix with me wanted too much too fast. I’ve heard everything from “Let’s get our names tattooed on each other” to “You’re beautiful. Will you be my first baby momma?”
I knew things with Sean would be different if for no other reason than I knew he wasn’t interested in “one thing” and he was saved. He had two things going for him.
But was I confusing my feelings for him with memories of Jhavon, like Jazzy said? And what if things didn’t work out between us? Would that mean our connection would be severed? I mean, he and I weren’t “close” in the traditional sense. It was kind of a see-you-when-I-see-you situation, but I think that was because he’d been gone so long and because there was a lot of pain between us since Jhavon died.
And what if he’d also asked Lakesha to spend time with him? Did he want to be with her and her son?
Though the what-ifs plagued me, I still found myself brushing my natural hair into an updo at 6:00, anticipating Sean’s 6:30 arrival and our 7:00 painting class.
“You look cute,” Jazzy complimented me. “You should wear my gold heels. That’ll go real good with that white blouse and jeans.”
“Wait. Should I be wearing a white blouse? We’re painting, remember?”
“I’m sure they’ll give you something to cover up. Let’s fix the shoe situation.” She tossed her current novel onto the bed, retrieved said shoes from her side of the closet, and presented them to me as I examined myself in the mirror one last time.
I wrinkled my nose. “I can’t wear those. The heel’s way too high. I’d step on a crack and break myownback.”
Jazzy thrust the shoes into my stomach. “No, you won’t. Just walk slow. And if you stumble, Sean will catch you.”
I shoved the shoes back toward her. “But—”
“Niya, stop. You’re not a kid. And this date with Sean is serious. It’s corny, but it’s serious. He likes you, you like him. You gotta pay attention to what’s happening tonight so you can figure out your real feelings.”
I sighed, taking in the uneasy expression on my face. “You’re right. I am a grown woman. And this time with Sean tonight is important.” I took the shoes from my sister and put them on my feet. As soon as I did, they rubbed my pinky toe the wrong way.
“Ow,” I yelped. “These shoes are torture.”
“It’s the price of beauty. Now. Do you have protection?” she asked.
I rolled my eyes. “What? No, what? Like a knife or something?”
“Really? Niya. No. I’m talking about protection from getting pregnant.”
This suggestion seemed just as absurd as me carrying around a knife. “Are you kidding me?”
Jazzy looked me in the eyes and shook her head. “Niya, I know this is all brand new to you. But Sean is a man. A sexy man, at that. And you’re cute ’cause you look a lot like me.” She winked and gave a smirk. “He’s got his own place, too.”
“Are you serious? I don’t think Sean would try anything. Or did you forget he’s saved?” I tried to cancel her concerns.
“Please. This is a tale as old as time. Boy meets girl. They’re attracted. Anything can happen. We’ve both made it this far without having any kids. Don’t add to the problems I already have taking care of us and Big.”
She’d done it again. Come for me like she was my parent, my guardian, my lifeline. I put a hand on my hip. “If Ididget pregnant by somebody, you wouldn’t have to worry about raising the baby. That would be my responsibility.”
“Just don’t let it happen. Enjoy your little painting date with Sean. I wanna know if he’s gonna say anything about his baby momma, so I’ll wait up to listen to the whole story when you get back. No secrets. Okay?”
I rolled my eyes but still agreed.
