Part of me wants to push further, but the bright-red spots high on her cheeks tell me her patience is running thin. “No, thanks,” I say.
It’s not until later, when she’s gone to bed after changing the sheets and I’m lying on the couch staring at the ceiling, that I realize being sick has some benefits. She hasn’t mentioned working on my moli all day. Nor has she referred to our fight, and I’ve been too ashamed to bring it up because I know I owe her an apology I can’t give. I shouldn’t have to apologize for telling the truth.
I shouldn’t.
28
Hua Guoli
Ming dynasty. Her elder brother joined the Donglin Academy and derided her moli as immoral and anti-Confucian. The ensuing family schism was only resolved when the academy was shut down.
Heart note //Lift enthusiasm
Base note //Orange peel
When I wake up on Sunday, I feel like myself again. Mom makes me toast and butter, and I feel cared for in a way browning my own bread never achieved.
“You’ll be late for work,” she says.
“The store opens at noon on Sundays.” I pick up the buttery crumbs with my finger.
She slaps my hand away and takes the plate. “Disgusting, licking your fingers like that. Fine, Luling. Perhaps I’ll go for another walk.”
It’s well within my abilities as an adult to thank Mom for the help yesterday and tell her she should go enjoy herself. I can run my counter alone.
I say, “Do you want to come with me?”
She initially demurs. “No, no. I’ll be in the way.”
This always irritated me when I was younger, how this confident,headstrong woman would always become diffident and need to be convinced when it was something she really wanted to do. I used to take it at face value, so I didn’t get sucked into her mind games, but the toast and tea have made me generous.
“It looks like rain, so it might not be good for walking,” I say. “You should come with me. Ana loved having you there yesterday.”
Mom looks at the fluffy clouds in the blue sky, and I think she’s going to call my bluff. Instead, she nods. “All right.”
We’re there an hour early, and I see Ana’s correct and the Ile de Grasse sign does look good. I’ll leave it, but I won’t tell Mom I like it. I don’t want to encourage her interference. Mom doesn’t seem to notice and checks over my counter while I prepare myself for a litany of suggestions based on her experience yesterday. It sets me off-balance when she says nothing about my marketing or branding or mentions the sign. She only touches the soil in the jasmine and points out a new bud.
I follow her, almost bemused and waiting for the real Mom to come out, as she goes to the back and looks at my table, where I’m working on a few things for Ana’s jewelry. I pull out the vials and a few blotters. She puts aside her dislike for me wasting my time on non-moli work to sniff them.
“I’m not sure about this one,” she says, pointing at the third scent. It’s the floral, and I’d bristle except I’m not happy with it either.
“It’s too bland and typical,” I agree. “I wanted something fresh. It’s for a flower pendant.”
“Why not a green scent?”
This stumps me. “I don’t know. I got florals in my head because it’s a flower?”
She smiles. “When I was first learning, your waipo told me to think of my ideas like a triangle. She’d learned the technique from her mother. The three vertices are the top, heart, and base notes of your fragrance. Take one corner and find two more notes that fit.That’s your second triangle. Then you keep repeating the exercise to see what you get. That’s how I made World. It was a chypre before it became a marine floral, after pages of little triangles.”
I like this, and Mom goes to make some tea as I let my mind drift. It’s an amusing way to brainstorm ideas, and by the time she comes back, I have a few different directions to work in. “I’m much happier with these,” I say. “Thanks.”
“How about some Iso E Super?” she asks, tapping a finger on my last triangle. “To amplify it?”
“I like it.” I make the addition.
“I did a scent like this,” she says. “Maybe four or five years ago.”
I frown. “I don’t remember that.” Although I flinched at my Luling series of birthday perfumes, I always smelled the new Yixiang scents Mom sent to me.
