Mom watches her. “Did you want it to be someone else? You look like there’s something on your mind.” I didn’t know Mom’s voice could go that gentle. She certainly doesn’t bother to use that tone on me.
“It’s not a perfume thing,” says Ana.
Mom laughs. “Most things aren’t.”
“You met Jayne, right?”
“In front of the store.”
“I thought it might be her. I like her,” Ana says. “Then I saw her laughing with another woman the last time I went to her bar.” She looks at me. “You know, the one with the crystal store?”
“Krystal, yeah,” I say.
“No, it’s called Karma. Or Karma Gems, I can’t remember.”
“Her name is Krystal.”
“Seriously?” Ana rubs her face as Mom tries not to laugh.
I nod. “She ordered a perfume from me and wanted it to smell like radiance.” I gave her a twist on a classic Chanel No. 5 neroli with sparkling aldehydes to go with the patchouli that permeates her clothes.
“I’m jealous of a woman named Krystal who owns a crystal store.” She groans. “How is this my life?”
“You shouldn’t be,” I say. “Talking doesn’t mean anything.”
“I know.” She frowns as the soundtrack forAmélieplays in the background. Mom has busied herself taking the teacups to the sink, but I can tell she’s listening.
“Ana. Go over there and say hi. You talk to her all the time anyway.”
“Yeah, but now she’s more real, you know? She’s not going to be this perfect being I’ve built up in my head. She’s going to have issues because she’s a person, and it’s scary and making me act weird around her.” Ana starts removing vinyl belts from their crinkly plastic bags. “What if I end up disappointed? Then I don’t have Jayne and I don’t have the dream of Jayne. I’ll have nothing. It’s easier not to try.”
This hits me hard; I know what it’s like to lose both the dream and the reality. As I’m trying to think through a response, Mom answers.
“Disappointment is a part of life,” she says. Ana looks taken aback, as if she expected some sort of aYou got thispep talk. She doesn’t know Mom. “People will disappoint you in many ways. They’ll make promises and break them. They’ll raise expectations and dash them. They’ll leave you wondering what you’ve done wrong when you’ve done nothing at all.”
Is this directed at me? It must be. Ana’s eyes are wide. “Okay?”
“However, they will also surprise you. We often misread people or project assumptions on them.” Her voice turns thoughtful. “What we see on the surface is nothing like the person below. Much like a perfume, you need to give time and warmth for a person to reveal themselves fully.”
“Even if they end up disappointing you?” Ana’s voice is small.
“Even then, because the risk is worth the reward,” says Mom. “Sometimes that person blossoms for you, and only you.”
Ana wriggles her shoulders as if fighting against the weight of her insecurities. “What if I disappoint her?”
Even I, with my limited emotional intelligence, can jump in here because there’s only one honest and conveniently acceptable answer. “Impossible. She’d be lucky to have a chance to be in your life.”
This is true. Ana is sincere and giving, open in a way that’s totally foreign to me.
“Yeah,” says Ana, neck lengthening like a swan. “I’m a catch.”
“You are,” says Mom.
“I have a lot to offer.”
“Tons,” I assure her.
“You know what? I’m not made for pining. I was forged for action.” She fluffs her curls until they rise in a platinum halo. “I’m going to get my woman.”
