Yet she could not get the dead Empress Wang’s face out of her mind. The Empress Wu had already killed Aiai as far as her family was concerned when she took her to the palace five years ago, sending gold and rare goods for trade along with the note about how Aiai had succumbed to a filthy disease racking Chang’an. She might not hesitate to do it for real if she thought Aiai had misled her.
***
“You must leave.” Fuqian’s voice was urgent once Aiai had told him an edited version of her discussion with the empress. “There is no time to waste.”
“How?” Aiai sat up and wrapped her robe around her shoulders. “Where would I go?”
“Come with me to Youzhou. It’s far to the northeast, and she won’t look for you there.” Fuqian sat up as well, his black hair loose from his futou. She fished around in the bed and handed him the headscarf.
“To Youzhou?” She’d heard Fuqian speak of his home with affection.
“I need to return soon, and you can come with me.” He stroked his thin nose. “I was to leave in ten days. I can have my servants take you in advance to wait for me. You will be bored while you wait, but then we can travel together. We can live in Youzhou, and you’ll be safe.”
Aiai gaped at him. “You want to take me home?” She had been wondering what would happen to her after Fuqian left, but had been too frightened to ask.
“I have been thinking of it for some time.” He smiled and stroked her stomach. “I was going to ask you, but I was worried you couldn’t leave the empress.”
“I bring nothing. No dowry. No family.”
“You bring my child.” He looked conflicted. “You would not be my wife, Aiai. My family has a woman for me to wed when I return. The bride is not my choice, but my father’s.”
A concubine and alive with her child, or her pride and possible death. Aiai nodded, knowing she had no choice. “I understand.”
Fuqian leaned over to hold her tight enough to feel the beat of his heart. “I will make sure my wife is kind to you. Perhaps you will become friends.”
“I must be able to make my perfumes.” After years with the empress, Aiai cared little about kindness or companionship. All she wanted was to keep creating.
He nodded. “You may. I’m sure my wife would be pleased to have her robes smell like those of an empress.”
“I will also create for others.” Finally, she could share her gift freely with the world.
Fuqian shrugged. “I would not stand in the way of your harmless hobby, and will see that she does the same.”
Aiai frowned. Perhaps it would be safer to keep her gift limited to those she chose instead of open to everyone. What if there was another version of the empress or her mother, someone who would try to control her for her gift? Perhaps Fuqian would change. Money and power did strange things to people. Aiai had not told him of her moli. Even had the empress not forbidden her to tell anyone, she would have kept the information secret out of self-preservation. The empress had been right when she said men could not be trusted, even if the man was fiercely handsome with gentle hands. Aiai would extend that mistrust to the women in her life as well.
She considered him. The flickering beeswax candle cast a dim glow over his pale skin, turning it golden and scenting the air with a light sweetness. “You will teach me to read and write.”
Fuqian looked at her, his dark eyes widening in curiosity. “Why?”
“I would write down my perfume ingredients for my child,” saidAiai. “I have nothing else to give.”
“You and your little perfumes!” Fuqian’s laughter was fond. “My love, you will find it frustrating. Learning is easier as a child, and you are but a woman.”
“Will you?” Aiai pressed. Although she spoke the truth about her reason, she had seen how Empress Wu’s ability to read could be used as a weapon to protect herself from the trickery of others.
“Well, we have far to journey and it may help pass the time. I will teach you.”
Fuqian told her it was safest for her to leave immediately. “You shouldn’t go back to the empress,” he said seriously. “She acts as quickly as a snake strikes, and you don’t know what she will do with you.”
“It may be nothing.” Here, with Fuqian in their secret room, it was hard to believe anything could happen to her.
“Perhaps, but it’s not a risk that you should take—not with my son.” He ran his hand over her belly. “You will do as I say, Aiai.”
She lowered her head, knowing he was right yet feeling a pang at leaving the lovely tools the empress had gifted her over the years. She almost asked if she could go back and retrieve them before coming to her senses. Fuqian’s way was best.
“Will she come after me?” she asked as they dressed. She adjusted her silk sleeves. Her years in the palace had improved her appearance, and she looked more the lady than the Xins of her old home.
He shrugged. “Chang’an is a large city and she is a busy woman. There are dozens like you. She’ll easily find another to scent her clothes.”
