Rafe texts me later that night, after I’ve taken a shower so long my fingers have turned pruny.
Rafe:Sorry I was AWOL all day. I was learning about the commercial zoning bylaws in the greater Ottawa region. Do you have any questions about arterial main street zones?
Me:Mom is coming back to Toronto with me.
Whatever is going on with our relationship, Rafe has known me for years. He’ll understand.
The phone rings. “What?” he asks.
I keep my voice low so she can’t hear. “Do you remember what I told you before I left?”
“Yes. I haven’t told anyone. I swear.”
“Thank you. Do you remember I told you that I couldn’t do it?”
“Yes?” Rafe pauses. “Lucy, are you telling me…”
I’m almost giddy from being able to say it out loud to someone without fear of judgment.
“I have my moli. I think I have it.” I wait for Rafe’s answer with bated breath.
“Lucy, this is incredible. Is that why you’re in Vancouver?”
“I had to tell Mom and figure out what’s going on.” There’s no need to go into the mess about Kelsey’s samples.
“Figure out what? Isn’t it enough that you have it?”
“We don’t know why I couldn’t do it before. Mom has decided Ican’t be trusted to get to the bottom of things by myself, or trust that I can control it.”
“That’s why she’s coming to Toronto with you?”
“So she says.”
There’s a silence, then Rafe says, “It’ll be nice to have her around, won’t it?”
I nearly throw the phone. “What are you talking about?”
“Lucy, she loves you. She probably misses you.”
“That doesn’t mean we can cohabit for an indefinite time,” I say. “You’ve seen the size of my apartment. We’re like matter and antimatter. We always have been.”
This time the silence is so pointed that I sigh.
“Whatever you’re thinking, just say it.”
“You haven’t always been,” he says.
“Of course we have.”
“When you were younger, you spent every moment with her. When I came over, you were always in the kitchen together, or gardening. Or hidden away doing perfume stuff.”
“Well, naturally we spent more time together when I was younger. I was a kid.” I adjust my towel and scowl at my wrinkled fingers.
“No, Lucy. You loved being with her. I read the full Akira series while you two planted an herb garden. You sprayed me with water and got the pages wet, and I went home because I was mad.”
“I made lavender cookies as an apology.” I grin into the phone. “You thought you were going to smell like lavender after you ate them, and I caught you sniffing your arms.”
“I was disappointed to keep smelling like a sweaty teenage boy. That’s not the point. You liked spending time with your mother, Lucy.”
