“Dad was on a trip.” I texted him and he said although he and Mom were splitting, I would always be his daughter. Which was nice, but a little concerning since I hadn’t thought that would change. I sent it to Eric, and he replied with a screenshot of Dad’s text to him, which replaced son for daughter, and we exchanged a series of laughing emojis.
“That’s too bad, but not who I meant.”
“I know what you’re going to say. I didn’t talk to Rafe.”
“Why not?”
“You know why. He was away.”
She goes to my cupboard to take out the dulce de leche. “Did you text him?”
“No.”
“So you didn’t talk. After being childhood friends, having a misunderstanding, deciding you wanted to work through it, accusing him of being your mom’s pawn to get you home—which is weird, by the way—you did nothing. You are the queen of self-sabotage.”
I grew up knowing emotions could be influenced, and the last decade of being on my own shows that if there’s an attachment style past avoidant, that’s probably where I sit. Escapist? Disappearing? I crumble the suddenly tasteless cookie in my fingers. “I sent him some perfume.”
“So he thinks you’re trying to enchant him.”
“No!” I sit bolt upright, horrified. “Do you think he will?”
“What did the note say?”
“I didn’t add one.”
She stares at me and shakes her head.
I groan. “I screwed up, okay? There was so much history, and I don’t think I was in the right headspace.”
“Clearly not.”
“I wanted him to know I was sorry.”
“Still could have put that on a note.”
“I want to say it in person.”
“I just had a thought.” Ana licks her spoon thoughtfully. “Have you dated much in general?”
I shake my head.
“You could broaden your horizons,” she says. “You’ve been fixated on this guy for years. You might benefit from seeing the rest of the dating pool.” She looks suddenly grim. “Or not, actually. It’s a pool with a lot of sharks.”
It’s an idea. “But I miss Rafe.”
“Do you miss him or just want to be with someone?”
“Him?” I hadn’t thought about it like that.
“I know a cool guy,” she says hesitantly. “If you want to try? He’s Jayne’s cousin, so it’s close enough that you have some external validation he’s not horrible, but it’s not so close you have to see him all the time if it’s a bust.”
“What’s he like?”
“Cute. Funny. Has a cat he got from me, a job he likes, and he talks to his exes but not in a creepy way.”
“Why’s he single?” I drop some caramel on my shirt and smear it away. No big deal.
“I dunno, he didn’t smell your desire perfume? Why is anyone these days?”
